INGO: Joke of the day page

[MCgrease08]

View attachment 207808

And because chickens aren't mammals, but whatever.

 

[spencer rifle]

Thanks, Denny.

 

[MCgrease08]

Thanks, Denny.

 

[target64]

With out nipples , breasts are pointless

 

[Bigtanker]

 

[actaeon277]

 

[Ballstater98]

 

[nonobaddog]

A dog and a cat were having an argument on who is the favorite of humans​

The dog says, “Humans like us more. They even named a tooth (canine) after us. Naming such an important body part after us shows that they like us more.”

The cat smiles and says, “You’re not really going to win this one you know.”

 

[actaeon277]

 

[actaeon277]

 

[actaeon277]

When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Heaven, God appeared and said,
“I want the men to make two lines: One line for the men who were true heads of their household, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women.”
“I want all the women to report to St. Peter.”
Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men. The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was hundreds of miles long and in the line of men who truly were heads of their household, there was only ONE man.
God said to the long line, “You men should be ashamed of yourselves; I created you to be the head of your household!”
“You have been disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose!”
“Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from him.
God turned to the one man, “How did you manage to be the only one in this line?”
The man replied, “This is where my wife told me to stand.”

 

[actaeon277]

 

[actaeon277]

 

[AndreusMaximus]

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He spots a man down below and lowers the balloon to shout: “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The man below says: “Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude.”

“You must be an engineer” says the balloonist.

“I am” replies the man. “How did you know.”

“Well” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost.”

The man below says “You must be a manager.”

“I am” replies the balloonist, “but how did you know?”

“Well”, says the man, “you don’t know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problems. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault.”

 

[nonobaddog]

An Irishman's first drink with his son

While reading an article last night about fathers and sons,
memories came flooding back to the time I took me son out for his first pint.
Off we went to our local pub only two blocks from the cottage.
I got him a Guinness. He didn't like it, so I drank it.
Then I got him a Kilkenny's, he didn't like that either, so I drank it.
Finally, I thought he might like some Harp Lager? He didn't. I drank it.

I thought maybe he'd like whisky better than beer so we tried a Jameson's; nope!
In desperation, I had him try that rare Redbreast, Ireland 's finest whisky.
He wouldn't even smell it! What could I do but drink it!
By the time I realized he just didn't like to drink, I was so ****-faced I could hardly push his stroller back home!

 

[actaeon277]

 

[actaeon277]

 

[JCSR]

Boston Children's Hospital Throws Child Off Roof After She Claims To Be A Bird

BOSTON, MA — This week, Boston Children's Hospital made history by throwing the first child off the roof based on the child's "felt need to have their birdhood affirmed." The child is now back in treatment in Boston Children's Hospital for broken bones, but the hospital is standing by its...

babylonbee.com

 

[JCSR]

 

[Dentoro]

The future, past and present walked in the bar…..it was tense!

You know the math book was sad? He had a lot of problems.