INGO: Joke of the day page

[actaeon277]

 

[actaeon277]

 

[Hatin Since 87]

A cop pulls a guy over one night for running a red light. He walks up to the car and starts asking the usual questions.
Cop: What's your name sir?
Driver: Fred
Cop: What's your last name Fred?
Fred: I don't have one
Cop: You don't have a last name?
Fred: No sir. I used to but don't any more

The cop is thinking this guy is a bit flaky but seems harmless so figures he will play along
Cop: How is it that you used to have a last name but don't any more?
Fred: It's a really long story officer
Cop: It's a slow night so I have time
Fred: When I was born my name was Fred Dingaling. I know, stupid name and I hated it. All the kids used to laugh and make fun of me so I never had any friends. Stayed home and studied all the time. Got good grades and won a scholarship to go to medical school. When I graduated I was Fred Dingaling MD. Worked at a large practice for a while and got bored. Went back to school to become a dentist. When I graduated I was Fred Dingaling MD, DDS. Didn't want to go back into a large practice so started my own office. After a while business was good so I hired a cute little secretary / office manager. We started fooling around and she gave me VD. Now I'm Fred Dingaling MD, DDS, with VD. The AMA found out about the VD and took away my MD. Now I'm Fred Dingaling DDS with VD. The ADA found out about the AMA taking away my MD so they took away my DDS. Now I'm Fred Dingaling with VD. Not long after that the VD took away my dingaling so now I'm just Fred

 

[jerrob]

A cop pulls a guy over one night for running a red light. He walks up to the car and starts asking the usual questions.
Cop: What's your name sir?
Driver: Fred
Cop: What's your last name Fred?
Fred: I don't have one
Cop: You don't have a last name?
Fred: No sir. I used to but don't any more

The cop is thinking this guy is a bit flaky but seems harmless so figures he will play along
Cop: How is it that you used to have a last name but don't any more?
Fred: It's a really long story officer
Cop: It's a slow night so I have time
Fred: When I was born my name was Fred Dingaling. I know, stupid name and I hated it. All the kids used to laugh and make fun of me so I never had any friends. Stayed home and studied all the time. Got good grades and won a scholarship to go to medical school. When I graduated I was Fred Dingaling MD. Worked at a large practice for a while and got bored. Went back to school to become a dentist. When I graduated I was Fred Dingaling MD, DDS. Didn't want to go back into a large practice so started my own office. After a while business was good so I hired a cute little secretary / office manager. We started fooling around and she gave me VD. Now I'm Fred Dingaling MD, DDS, with VD. The AMA found out about the VD and took away my MD. Now I'm Fred Dingaling DDS with VD. The ADA found out about the AMA taking away my MD so they took away my DDS. Now I'm Fred Dingaling with VD. Not long after that the VD took away my dingaling so now I'm just Fred

You win!

 

[Hatin Since 87]

A new navy recruit has his first day on a submarine. He speaks with the officer, who assigns him his post. "Go stand at the periscope entry-way, and make sure no unauthorized personnel touch the periscope."

The recruit follows orders, and stands by the periscope. After 15 minutes, the officer stops by.

"Son I'm changing your post to the mess hall. Go in there and start washing some dishes."

The recruit obeys, and heads to the mess hall. He's cleaned about 3 dishes when the officer walks up again.

"Listen here recruit, your new post is in the supply room. I need you to make sure everything is strapped down tight, in case of rough waters."

The recruit again follows orders, and heads off to the supply room. There, he sees a crewman, moving some boxes.

"Hey there," says the recruit. "is it normal to keep getting reassigned to new posts all day? I haven't kept one position for more than 15 minutes!"

The crewman says "Oh yeah- this sub is full of reposts."

 

[actaeon277]

 

[MCgrease08]

I don't get it. Is that some type of Reddit or internet joke?

 

[Hatin Since 87]

I don't get it. Is that some type of Reddit or internet joke?

That’s exactly what it is, but it pertains to here too, since the same jokes and pics are posted often.


And, it reminded me of act when I read it, so I had to post it.

 

[sharkey]

A new navy recruit has his first day on a submarine. He speaks with the officer, who assigns him his post. "Go stand at the periscope entry-way, and make sure no unauthorized personnel touch the periscope."

The recruit follows orders, and stands by the periscope. After 15 minutes, the officer stops by.

"Son I'm changing your post to the mess hall. Go in there and start washing some dishes."

The recruit obeys, and heads to the mess hall. He's cleaned about 3 dishes when the officer walks up again.

"Listen here recruit, your new post is in the supply room. I need you to make sure everything is strapped down tight, in case of rough waters."

The recruit again follows orders, and heads off to the supply room. There, he sees a crewman, moving some boxes.

"Hey there," says the recruit. "is it normal to keep getting reassigned to new posts all day? I haven't kept one position for more than 15 minutes!"

The crewman says "Oh yeah- this sub is full of reposts."

Why am I still subscribed to this?

 

[Hatin Since 87]

Why am I still subscribed to this?

Subordinate?

 

[Bigtanker]

I will remind folks, the title reads :JOKE OF THE DAY:

Nowhere in that phrase is the word funny....

 

[actaeon277]

See.
That's a joke.

 

[sharkey]

Subordinate?

Masochist

 

[eric001]

What kind of underwear do flowering plants all have?







Note: NOT soiled--that would make this a dirty joke...











What kind of underwear do flowering plants all have?
BLOOMERS!!

 

[Mongo59]

They all bloom after Mexican...

 

[actaeon277]

 

[jamil]

Okay. Finally. This thread is redeemed.

 

[Lpherr]

How do you catch an elephant?

First, dig a really big hole.
Then, fill the hole with ashes, all the way to the top.
Now, wait for an elephant to walk by, and look in the hole.
Then, quietly, sneak up behind the elephant and...







































...kick him in the ash hole.

 

[Bigtanker]

I just ordered 2,000 pounds of Asian soup.......



It is Wonton soup

 

[jamil]

Redemption has been revoked!