Military BS Stories or the last liar wins.

[actaeon277]

 

[actaeon277]

Triple Tomcat launch

 

[MindfulMan]

Triple Tomcat launch

Birds away !

 

[Nazgul]

Triple Tomcat launch

Have to dig thru some pics I have. Watched Tomcats take off often.
Was friends with one of the ship's photo mates, he lived halfway home to my house. My dad would meet me for a weekend at home. He showed me a pic of a Tomcat once taking off as we neared the US. Half fuel and no armaments. Afterburner was lit and it was outrunning the catapult!

Don

 

[Nazgul]

Sort of military BS story, not sure if I posted this before.

1977 we were in port Portsmouth, VA. Several of us went to a deli at the local mall to get real food. One suggested going to a movie. Walked into the theater the opening night of the first Star Wars movie. The place was half empty. Obviously it was a real step up from older sci fi flicks. Couldn't get near the mall the next weekend because of the lines to get in.

Don

 

[KellyinAvon]

This thread is almost three years old. I'm having trouble remembering what I've posted here. Hopefully everyone who reads this thread is having similar issues and won't notice I've posted the same story multiple times.

 

[2A_Tom]

Movies.

I saw Soylent Green at York theater on Ft, Bragg, NC (soon to be Ft Milley) and leaving the theater I shouted C Rations are made from people.

 

[woowoo2]

We were given a half day off, and reimbursed half the cost of the ticket to go see Top Gun when it came out.
As a missile system Fire Control man, we counted it as training.

 

[Dinny]

Oh lord, where do I start with my 27 years of military stories?! I'll think on it a bit and report back later.

 

[actaeon277]

This thread is almost three years old. I'm having trouble remembering what I've posted here. Hopefully everyone who reads this thread is having similar issues and won't notice I've posted the same story multiple times.

I've had to to to back thru the thread to see if I had posted something.

 

[KellyinAvon]

Oh lord, where do I start with my 27 years of military stories?! I'll think on it a bit and report back later.

Start with a DRMO story.

 

[actaeon277]

Oh lord, where do I start with my 27 years of military stories?! I'll think on it a bit and report back later.

Make it like a movie.

You start with the "flash".
Then, go back in time.
Then, go forward in time.
Then, back in time.
..

Repeat as necessary.

 

[Brad69]

NSN 1240-01-005-6035

M19 night vision cost $999.00

When I was a young SGT E-5 at Ft Carson about 1992. My PSG lost his M19 I drove by the DRMO yard everyday. We referred to it as the “can point” basically a junkyard.

Remove part fill out form and leave with part. In theory you should not be get a M19 from the “can point” that would have to go on the CO’s property book.

PSG freaking out not only the cost but it was missing from his M113. So that was going to make him look stupid.

A unit had turned in a ton of M113 for Bradley’s. Told the PSG give me till the end of the day before you say anything.

Grabbed a mechanic that was on the signature card for DRMO. Went to “can point” got a M19 signed for it and walked out.

Guys that worked at DRMO didn’t really give a crap what you took as long as you signed for it.

Next story

How my PSG killed a civilian with a mail bomb made out of a hand grenade.

 

[KellyinAvon]

NSN 1240-01-005-6035

M19 night vision cost $999.00

When I was a young SGT E-5 at Ft Carson about 1992. My PSG lost his M19 I drove by the DRMO yard everyday. We referred to it as the “can point” basically a junkyard.

Remove part fill out form and leave with part. In theory you should not be get a M19 from the “can point” that would have to go on the CO’s property book.

PSG freaking out not only the cost but it was missing from his M113. So that was going to make him look stupid.

A unit had turned in a ton of M113 for Bradley’s. Told the PSG give me till the end of the day before you say anything.

Grabbed a mechanic that was on the signature card for DRMO. Went to “can point” got a M19 signed for it and walked out.

Guys that worked at DRMO didn’t really give a crap what you took as long as you signed for it.

Next story

How my PSG killed a civilian with a mail bomb made out of a hand grenade.

Extra points for having the national stock number in a DRMO story.

 

[daddyusmaximus]

No BS, These ALL happened...


My Drill Sgt was a certified bad ass. He was a 100% Cherokee SSG named Stogdill. Nothing could phase the man. He taught us well. We did great on ever gate test. We marched better than any Plt. Every eye was on us as we passed. It was like watching the Canadians arrive in "The Devil's Brigade".

Story #1. While studying for a gate test one night in the barracks (some guys were having trouble with the M3A1 grease gun, the trigger assy is kind of tricky to get back in) one pvt fell asleep sitting on the floor, leaning up against the wall. Drill Sgt grabs a canteen... saunters over... unzips (yes the old OD green uniform had a zipper) and pulls it out. Then he opens the canteen, and gets some water in his left hand, tossing the canteen to the nearest pvt. He splashes the face of sleeping beauty, and just as the dude opens his eyes, he "shakes off" and puts it away. Pvt sleepy jumps up and runs out screaming. We all die laughing... AND Drill Sgt lets us.



Story #2. While on clean up detail at BN, Daniels (a very tall black dude from the south) was goofing off making the rest of us crack up. Easy to do, he has long ass "Grape Ape" looking arms (old cartoon, and that became his nickname... Mine was M&M because the Drill Sgt caught me with a bag of them) Anyway Daniels got busted, and Stogdill goes "DANIELS...! Get your black ass over here right now!" Instantly we all go back to work, because Daniels is fittin' to get smoked, and we don't want no part of that.

Well, the Cpt happed to be walking by, and he locked the Drill Sgts heals. Yup... Right in front of us too. "We are not white, we are not black... What color is this uniform? U.S. Army OD Green. We are all green in this man's army, an I understood Drill Sgt?"

Holy crap we were scared to death. Cpt Garret leaves, and the Drill Sgt just stands there for a minute. Then, without missing a beat he turns to Pvt Daniels (who shrinks like a scolded puppy) "DANIELS...! Get your dark green ass over here right now!"

Capt Garret actually stopped walking mid stride... then shaking his head, just kept on going.



Bonus story. Back in 1990, the first thing I did after graduating from the Drill Sgt academy (having been inspired by my Drill Sgt Dale E. Stogdill)) was to march my happy ass right over to the very same building I had went through basic as when I was a Pvt. I wanted a photo of me in front of it again. Like an idiot, I went alone, with nobody to take the picture for me.

As luck would have it, there was a Pvt out front on a detail. (ain't there always?) I snagged him up to take the photo below. As I was standing there I was explaining how I had just graduated, and got my hat about half an hr ago, and that I went through basic in this same bldg back in '81.

He said "Congratulations Drill Sgt."

Inspired once again by the spirit of my old Drill, I said "Thanks, now drop, and give me 20."

He cracked a pretty big grin knowing he was my cherry, but he did 20 very perfect pushups without hesitation. Straight back, all the way up, broke the plain at the bottom.... Nicely done. Must have been at least half way through his cycle.







"1 Drill Sgt... 2 Drill Sgt... 3 Drill Sgt..."

 

[Dinny]

Sorry, no experiences with DRMO. One of my last "you can't make this up experiences" was at Ft. Eustis in the summer of 2019. The BDE S2 NCOIC had arranged for the brigade to receive their annual TARP Training. Class times were set starting at 0900 down in a classroom at 3rd Port. The instructor was a counterintel CID agent who told the NCOIC he wasn't familiar with the classroom location and would leave early so he had time to find it. That sizzling summer morning more soldiers attended the first class than expected so myself and a few other SRNCOs had the soldiers pack tightly into the classroom while we all waited for agent to arrive. 0905 came and no agent. 0910 and the NCOIC called the CID office and was informed the agent had left some time ago. 0915 and still no agent. I walked outside to get some fresh air (the ac was broken in the classroom) and looked around for the agent. 0930 the S2 NCOIC finally gave up on the agent and told everyone to leave. Around 1000 the NCOIC got a call from the agent and was asked why the NCOIC wasn't present for the training. After some discussion it was found that the agent had ducked his head into a small shop with 5 soldiers present and said he was there to present a class. The soldiers said their NCO had told them they were going to attend some training at 0900 so they kicked off the TARP training right there in the shop while about 90 of us were sweating away in a classroom made for about 40 pax. We were no more than 50yds apart the whole time. The next class went off without a hitch at 1300. The soldiers all waited outside the classroom until the S2 NCOIC yelled for them to take their seats inside.

 

[KellyinAvon]

Sorry, no experiences with DRMO. One of my last "you can't make this up experiences" was at Ft. Eustis in the summer of 2019. The BDE S2 NCOIC had arranged for the brigade to receive their annual TARP Training. Class times were set starting at 0900 down in a classroom at 3rd Port. The instructor was a counterintel CID agent who told the NCOIC he wasn't familiar with the classroom location and would leave early so he had time to find it. That sizzling summer morning more soldiers attended the first class than expected so myself and a few other SRNCOs had the soldiers pack tightly into the classroom while we all waited for agent to arrive. 0905 came and no agent. 0910 and the NCOIC called the CID office and was informed the agent had left some time ago. 0915 and still no agent. I walked outside to get some fresh air (the ac was broken in the classroom) and looked around for the agent. 0930 the S2 NCOIC finally gave up on the agent and told everyone to leave. Around 1000 the NCOIC got a call from the agent and was asked why the NCOIC wasn't present for the training. After some discussion it was found that the agent had ducked his head into a small shop with 5 soldiers present and said he was there to present a class. The soldiers said their NCO had told them they were going to attend some training at 0900 so they kicked off the TARP training right there in the shop while about 90 of us were sweating away in a classroom made for about 40 pax. We were no more than 50yds apart the whole time. The next class went off without a hitch at 1300. The soldiers all waited outside the classroom until the S2 NCOIC yelled for them to take their seats inside.

Ft Eustis? You have "I-64 is a parking lot" stories that are no BS. I went to JOPES training at Fort Eustis in 2003 (stationed at Langley AFB pre-JB BS a little later.) A trash-truck broke down on the side of the road clogged traffic for miles.

 

[Dinny]

My first experience with Hampton Roads traffic involved an accident near Cheatham Annex. Traffic was backed up through the tunnels through Norfolk to Dam Neck Naval Station where were leaving after some time at the beach. It took us 1.5 hours to get there and 4.5 hours to get back. About a year or so later there was a 86 car pile up on I-64 in Williamsburg. I still have no idea how I got away from that area with wrecking my truck at least once.

 

[actaeon277]

Getting into Norfolk Naval Base could be challenging during Christmas, when most of the carrier groups were in.

 

[KellyinAvon]

1997: Young USAF TSgt KellyinAvon was stationed in Iceland. During one of the many USAF/Joint/NATO exercises I was a BRAAT (base recovery after attack team) leader. We’d go out and look for unexploded ordinance, building damage, chemical weapons usage, etc.

One day we get told we are at DEFCON Cocked Pistol. None of us had any idea what that meant. So to find out I go and ask the operations superintendent.

He pulls out a binder, looks at it looks back at me, and says cocked pistol. Then I ask, what does that mean? He thought for a second and then said, I have no idea.

We survived so it wasn’t too bad I guess.