SolidSnake99
Plinker
MY LAST TRIP TO COSTCO
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of
Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog,
and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me
asked if I had a dog.
What did she think, I had an elephant? So since I'm retired
and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no,
I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.
I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the
hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I
awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming
out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that
the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with
Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you
feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works
well and I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in line
was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because
the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass
and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart
attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco doesn't want me to shop there anymore.
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of
Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog,
and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me
asked if I had a dog.
What did she think, I had an elephant? So since I'm retired
and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no,
I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.
I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the
hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I
awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming
out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that
the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with
Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you
feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works
well and I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in line
was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because
the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass
and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart
attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco doesn't want me to shop there anymore.
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