Separating

[hornadylnl]

Perhaps I should have said that nobody SHOULD get married wanting to get a divorce. I realize there are people who enter into marriages without really thinking it through or being mature enough to commit to any relationship.

And there are those who marry for money. I've been married to a good one for 16 years. We didn't have much of anything when we got married but now I'm worth far more to her divorced than married. Should she ever take a hankering to that, I'm screwed. No more marriages in my lifetime.

 

[mom45]

And there are those who marry for money. I've been married to a good one for 16 years. We didn't have much of anything when we got married but now I'm worth far more to her divorced than married. Should she ever take a hankering to that, I'm screwed. No more marriages in my lifetime.

I got it right the second time around. We've been together almost 20 years and married for almost 7. It took us both a long time to fully trust again after our first marriages. Life really is too short to be unhappy and we both agree on that! I hope for the best for the OP.

 

[churchmouse]

Mulling over internet protocol #336.
Which protocol covers me calling someone a butthead....just curios. Google is no help......

 

[mom45]

Mulling over internet protocol #336.
Which protocol covers me calling someone a butthead....just curios. Google is no help......

#336(B)

 

[churchmouse]

#336(B)

Perfect....

 

[KG1]

I have no advice to offer.

 

[Leadeye]

Reading this topic makes me feel both lucky and thankful.

 

[femurphy77]

I have no advice to offer.

Don't let that stop you!

 

[CitiusFortius]

Nope, just that your oversimplification of a complex situation and whatever it is I suspect you have in your past is causing you to react to this thread as you are is clouding your ability to be objective about it.

it's an online message board...EVERYTHING is an oversimplification. If you really want to know what makes a marriage work, it would be hours upon hours of deep, personal conversations.

expecting perfect relationship advice on a gun forum is setting an impossible standard.

 

[ultra...good]

it's an online message board...EVERYTHING is an oversimplification. If you really want to know what makes a marriage work, it would be hours upon hours of deep, personal conversations.

expecting perfect relationship advice on a gun forum is setting an impossible standard.

All the guy asked for was financial advice. I hope he has someone else to ask because reading all this crap will likely do him no good.
It is easier to deal with children then some of the "adults" on here. ugh.....

 

[Cameramonkey]

I've decided if my marriage fails, I will never get married again. next time I'll just find a woman I hate and buy her a house. It will be quicker that way.

Good luck OP.

 

[1911ly]

I can't find any humor in the OP's post. It's sad-bad situation to loose someone you love and promised your life to. Having been threw a bad divorce that left me with my old car and a few clothes. I can't laugh. I did remarry 15 years later to the real love of my life. I lost my second wife to cancer. We had a awesome 13 years together. Four of those we were married.

I wish the OP the best of luck. I hope thinks turn out well.

 

[churchmouse]

I've decided if my marriage fails, I will never get married again. next time I'll just find a woman I hate and buy her a house. It will be quicker that way.

Good luck OP.

That joke was running through my mind earlier today. Could not bring myself to post it in light of some commentary from those far wiser than I.
Good post.....+1

 

[brew45]

I should clarify, there was a time span of about 5 days between the "news" and my question on here. I'm surprised to see this many have responded to this. I've consulted an attorney but have not retained him yet, and yes the guns are out of the house. She's agreed to counseling separately at first with the possibility of joint sessions later. I'm not down with the whole year long separation thing she is thinking of, IMO it's a waste of my time. I'll file for divorce before waiting a year to see if she still "has feelings" for me. What really grinds my gears is that we have two small kids (6 and 3) and they will be the ones to ultimately suffer, not me or her. But she doesn't seem to be thinking of them and is acting selfishly. I don't want to get into too much here because of potential repercussions, but I do love her and don't want to see this happen. Not much I can do I suppose.

 

[Hookeye]

Kids for the most part, are made of rubber (tougher than you think).
Always tell them the truth...........don't need details, just age appropriate general concept stuff.
Having one good and honest parent is better than what a lot of kids have.

 

[brew45]

Kids for the most part, are made of rubber (tougher than you think).
Always tell them the truth...........don't need details, just age appropriate general concept stuff.
Having one good and honest parent is better than what a lot of kids have.

Everyone keeps telling me that, but as a parent, I feel like I'm failing them in some way.

 

[Hookeye]

Mine didn't even shed a tear through or after my divorce.
But then we never put them in the middle of the mess.
And the mess was minimized for all they knew.

 

[brew45]

She's already trying to use them to get me too leave the house so she doesn't have to. I'm not so sure I'll be that lucky.

 

[RedneckReject]

Everyone keeps telling me that, but as a parent, I feel like I'm failing them in some way.

Not only are kids tougher than we think, they pick up on a lot more than we realize. Better to have mom and dad divorced than to see mom and dad unhappy together the whole time you're growing up. I do hope for the best for everyone involved. And if you want to try and work things out then try your damnedest and I sincerely do hope it works. Just make sure you're doing it because of you and not because of the kids.

 

[Hookeye]

IMHO the one that wants to leave the relationship should be the one leaving the house.

If I was a judge...................