Separating

[Snapdragon]

Despite my earlier comment, I've got to agree with BBI's. He's always the voice of reason.

As far as the original question, if both names are on the lease, it will take both parties to remove one from the lease.

 

[Jack Burton]

brew.... while you have to make up your own mind about what the future holds for you and your wife there are some things to consider.

For instance, if she gets pregnant while still married to you that child is yours for ever and ever. And that is regardless of paternity tests and anything else you want to throw at the courts. You';ll be paying child support for the next 21 years.

Other thinks are her health and general good being. You are responsible to take care of her and that means in good health and bad. If she was to get into a car wreck and become invalid, guess who takes care of her? Guess who would look like a real heel in the community for then divorcing her? If she is on any kind of your insurance I would recommend getting her off if the separation is going to last longer than a few days.

 

[88GT]

.......I got'a go with CM.........

I don't care. I would think if the OP wanted advice on how to terminate a marriage, there are plenty on INGO to whom he can seek advice. However, if he's at all interested in trying to save his, I would respectfully suggest he not take it from those who have failed.

 

[Hawkeye]

Anybody say get the locks on the house changed, yet? And change teh codes on teh garged door openers, securtiy system, etc. if applicable.

 

[Harleyrider_50]

I don't care. I would think if the OP wanted advice on how to terminate a marriage, there are plenty on INGO to whom he can seek advice. However, if he's at all interested in trying to save his, I would respectfully suggest he not take it from those who have failed.

......Well it wud'n fer lack o' try'n, trus'me.........Did'n think I was capable o' eat'n so much ......an' nahhhh.......did'n really aquire a taste fer it, neither.....but paid the price anyways.......

 

[shibumiseeker]

I don't care. I would think if the OP wanted advice on how to terminate a marriage, there are plenty on INGO to whom he can seek advice. However, if he's at all interested in trying to save his, I would respectfully suggest he not take it from those who have failed.

Most people's advice about relationships suck whether they have been in only one for all their lives or dozens.

The person who happened to get lucky and got a partner who either they just mesh perfectly with, or who will put up with all their crap, or whatever, is no more qualified to give advice and probably less so. The person who chose their partner wisely from the start and has had a long and successful relationship is qualified to say what works with *their* partner in *their* relationship.

The person who has had failed relationships and who has learned from them and built their relationship skills and refined their ability to choose a better matched partner may indeed be in a much better position to give better advice. Of course of the random distribution of people in general, most people are just muddling along without a damn clue.

If the only metric of "good advice" is that a relationship is preserved at all costs, then even marriage counselors suck at it because more often than not relationships where counseling is sought end.

In this case though, the OP was only asking about a lease agreement, not how to save his marriage.

 

[femurphy77]

brew.... while you have to make up your own mind about what the future holds for you and your wife there are some things to consider.

For instance, if she gets pregnant while still married to you that child is yours for ever and ever. And that is regardless of paternity tests and anything else you want to throw at the courts. You';ll be paying child support for the next 21 years.

Other thinks are her health and general good being. You are responsible to take care of her and that means in good health and bad. If she was to get into a car wreck and become invalid, guess who takes care of her? Guess who would look like a real heel in the community for then divorcing her? If she is on any kind of your insurance I would recommend getting her off if the separation is going to last longer than a few days.

An extended family member was going thru a nasty divorce, her ex went out and got drunked up and then INTENTIONALLY drove into a bridge abutment in a sick attempt to keep her. Even HIS family told her to run, not walk out the nearest door! People get weird during these things!

 

[Harleyrider_50]

Anybody say get the locks on the house changed, yet? And change teh codes on teh garged door openers, securtiy system, etc. if applicable.

Some chics.......is smart'rn 'at......

Up until got the temp custody of house/property/contents(which were LEAVE'n....did'n know how the helll she was git'n in....)

If I'm ly'n, I'm die'n.....
She'd go thru the dog door(lil' petite thang,5-2,bout 107lbs.....) go up thru the attic access in'a garage.....crawl 'long the joist-line in'a attic , then drop'd down in'a house in access in guest B/room closet..............rape the place(financial records personal an' bizz-wise....LOT'sa sh*t....) then, put everthing back,hit the door button on'a garage door, an' go BACK out thru the da*n dog door.......hahahahaha......

SO......when I found out HOW she was git'n in......I screw'd a pc plywood over the access open'n in'a house....
Once I got the temp order for custody of same(house/property, etc....)......tol'her if I caught her in'a da*n house, she'd be break'n an' enter'n.....an' I'd treat it accordingly...........take 'at however way ya wanna read it.....




Dog doors only big nuff fer the Beaglehound , or a breed not too much big'r........

 

[churchmouse]

Most people's advice about relationships suck whether they have been in only one for all their lives or dozens.

The person who happened to get lucky and got a partner who either they just mesh perfectly with, or who will put up with all their crap, or whatever, is no more qualified to give advice and probably less so. The person who chose their partner wisely from the start and has had a long and successful relationship is qualified to say what works with *their* partner in *their* relationship.

The person who has had failed relationships and who has learned from them and built their relationship skills and refined their ability to choose a better matched partner may indeed be in a much better position to give better advice. Of course of the random distribution of people in general, most people are just muddling along without a damn clue.

If the only metric of "good advice" is that a relationship is preserved at all costs, then even marriage counselors suck at it because more often than not relationships where counseling is sought end.

In this case though, the OP was only asking about a lease agreement, not how to save his marriage.

Yes, he was. It is so easy to get side tracked when the end of days flag goes up on a relationship. Those of us who have struggled to save one and "FAILED" as so eloqently stated up thread often tend to put the "CYA" program into effect right away. Having "Failed" at a few things in life as everyone of us has the protection of ones self usually is paramount when we see the storm clouds gathering. Until you have had your heart/soul/children/financial well being/all your property ripped out from under you while still trying I would say do not judge. Seriously.
OP, In my scramble to save you if my intentions were not presented properly I apologize. I hope the best for you.

But.....cover your A$$.

 

[churchmouse]

Some chics.......is smart'rn 'at......

Up until got the temp custody of house/property/contents(which were LEAVE'n....did'n know how the helll she was git'n in....)

If I'm ly'n, I'm die'n.....
She'd go thru the dog door(lil' petite thang,5-2,bout 107lbs.....) go up thru the attic access in'a garage.....crawl 'long the joist-line in'a attic , then drop'd down in'a house in access in guest B/room closet..............rape the place(financial records personal an' bizz-wise....LOT'sa sh*t....) then, put everthing back,hit the door button on'a garage door, an' go BACK out thru the da*n dog door.......hahahahaha......

SO......when I found out HOW she was git'n in......I screw'd a pc plywood over the access open'n in'a house....
Once I got the temp order for custody of same(house/property, etc....)......tol'her if I caught her in'a da*n house, she'd be break'n an' enter'n.....an' I'd treat it accordingly...........take 'at however way ya wanna read it.....

I love it. You failure you.....right there with ya.

I thought I had my house in order and everything was mello. Wife and I had agreed to get things back on track.
I went racing for a 4 day event in Bowling green Kentucky. It had been planned for over a month as it was the Bracket finals in my division. I won a spot and was not letting the opportunity for a championship get away. Gone 6 days as planned. Returned home to a bone empty house and my shop was cleaned out as well. The boat was gone along with my El-Camino and my 442. Total blind side. All my cloths and personal stuff and all of my guns.

All she did was buy time to set me up. I got most of my things back but it was seriously hard. I never got any of the guns back.

I guess that makes me a failure.

 

[shibumiseeker]

Until you have had your heart/soul/children/financial well being/all your property ripped out from under you while still trying I would say do not judge. Seriously.

Oh, believe me, I wasn't judging here. I too have BTDT, and my second marriage failed in spite of my best efforts because in the end, she not only didn't want to be married to me, she found herself a better deal, and it cost me plenty financially and emotionally. My first marriage, we were too young, etc etc etc. Parted friends (still are). I wasn't going to do it again until I could be sure *I* was prepared to make it work. So my end was prepared, but I wasn't that good at choosing someone who was ready to make the same commitment. For the last decade though, I have been in a relationship far more complicated than most people's, and far more stable than any I had ever been in previously. I think the advice people were giving the OP to protect himself was spot on and appropriate.

 

[churchmouse]

Oh, believe me, I wasn't judging here. I too have BTDT, and my second marriage failed in spite of my best efforts because in the end, she not only didn't want to be married to me, she found herself a better deal, and it cost me plenty financially and emotionally. My first marriage, we were too young, etc etc etc. Parted friends (still are). I wasn't going to do it again until I could be sure *I* was prepared to make it work. So my end was prepared, but I wasn't that good at choosing someone who was ready to make the same commitment. For the last decade though, I have been in a relationship far more complicated than most people's, and far more stable than any I had ever been in previously. I think the advice people were giving the OP to protect himself was spot on and appropriate.

Was not intending the comment towards you. I lumped some responses together. Hate being referred to as a failure.
I am 33 years with my wonderful wife. 2 grown kids and 7 grand kids. 4 of them ours and 3 from kids from 1st go round. I am blessed.

 

[Harleyrider_50]

I love it. You failure you.....right there with ya.

I thought I had my house in order and everything was mello. Wife and I had agreed to get things back on track.
I went racing for a 4 day event in Bowling green Kentucky. It had been planned for over a month as it was the Bracket finals in my division. I won a spot and was not letting the opportunity for a championship get away. Gone 6 days as planned. Returned home to a bone empty house and my shop was cleaned out as well. The boat was gone along with my El-Camino and my 442. Total blind side. All my cloths and personal stuff and all of my guns.

All she did was buy time to set me up. I got most of my things back but it was seriously hard. I never got any of the guns back.

I guess that makes me a failure.

Beech Bend ?.....

On'a other......did'n git NUTH'n back......she never complied w/ judges orders ta have her storage inventory'd, jewelry appraised(all I got her.....80 K worth....),none 'at stuff....... filed in '05, after try'n ta eat it fer 4-1/2 plus yrs......were'nt final till.....Jan '08.....

So.....rec'n I walk'd jus'is side o' hell on earth fer da*n near 10 yrs........ya don' fergit 'at kind'a stuff easy....

 

[churchmouse]

Beech Bend ?.....

On'a other......did'n git NUTH'n back......she never complied w/ judges orders ta have her storage inventory'd, jewelry appraised(all I got her.....80 K worth....),none 'at stuff....... filed in '05, after try'n ta eat it fer 4-1/2 plus yrs......were'nt final till.....Jan '08.....

So.....rec'n I walk'd jus'is side o' hell on earth fer da*n near 10 yrs........ya don' fergit 'at kind'a stuff easy....

But she seemed so nice when you met her...>>

 

[Harleyrider_50]

But she seemed so nice when you met her...>>

Well.......she WAS, in all honesty...jus' out'a beauty school, an' she cut my hair........but, she had stuff happen, 'at SHE don' ta this day, even know/realize her pro'lems***,drugs, alcohol, etc....diagnosed manic-d'pressive,Bi-polar schizzophrenic.....ser'ously....an' she still nose-dive'n ta this day.....I still stay in touch with my step-young'n...........she's 27 now, an' been 'round her since she was 14.....2 step gran-young'ns now.....

 

[churchmouse]

Well.......she WAS, in all honesty...jus' out'a beauty school, an' she cut my hair........but, she had stuff happen, 'at SHE don' ta this day, even know/realize her pro'lems***,drugs, alcohol, etc....diagnosed manic-d'pressive,Bi-polar schizzophrenic.....ser'ously....an' she still nose-dive'n ta this day.....I still stay in touch with my step-young'n...........she's 27 now, an' been 'round her since she was 14.....2 step gran-young'ns now.....

Tough deal.

 

[Trooper]

Word of wisdom, get to know someone before marrying them. Become friends. Avoid lust and sex as it will mask deeper problems in the person (if they are there).

Look at marriage like you were going into business.

My wise crack was I knew what I wanted in a wife at 14. It took me 15 girl friends to learn what did not want. (same holds with jobs).

 

[Grump01]

You need to file for a legal separation. And do it soon! Regardless of how amicable things may be or seem. I can tell you from experience. Talk to the financial institution you have the lease with. And I would also consult a divorce attorney. It's COA time (cover your a$$) It's easier to undo later when COA now.

AMEN!!!!!!!! AMEN!!!!!!! AMEN!!!!!!!!

 

[88GT]

Most people's advice about relationships suck whether they have been in only one for all their lives or dozens.

The person who happened to get lucky and got a partner who either they just mesh perfectly with, or who will put up with all their crap, or whatever, is no more qualified to give advice and probably less so. The person who chose their partner wisely from the start and has had a long and successful relationship is qualified to say what works with *their* partner in *their* relationship.

Are you trying to argue that someone who has failed at marriages is more qualified to offer advice on how to keep a long one from ending than someone who has done it?

The person who has had failed relationships and who has learned from them and built their relationship skills and refined their ability to choose a better matched partner may indeed be in a much better position to give better advice. Of course of the random distribution of people in general, most people are just muddling along without a damn clue.

If the only metric of "good advice" is that a relationship is preserved at all costs, then even marriage counselors suck at it because more often than not relationships where counseling is sought end.

In this case though, the OP was only asking about a lease agreement, not how to save his marriage.

You have offered nothing that isn't news to me. Which only throws into greater contrast the utter stupidity of 40+ posts telling the OP what he needs to be doing. Those with failed marriages are only qualified to say what didn't work with *their* partner(s) in *their* relationships. Sounds a bit familiar, heh?

 

[shibumiseeker]

Are you trying to argue that someone who has failed at marriages is more qualified to offer advice on how to keep a long one from ending than someone who has done it?

Nope, just that your oversimplification of a complex situation and whatever it is I suspect you have in your past is causing you to react to this thread as you are is clouding your ability to be objective about it.