Red Skelton’s recipe for the perfect marriage
As part of his weekly monologue on his TV show, Red once shared*Red Skelton‘s recipe for the perfect marriage – enjoy!
Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
We also sleep in separate beds. * Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
I take my wife everywhere….. but she keeps finding her way back.
I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. *Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said. *So I suggested the kitchen.
We always hold hands. * If I let go, she shops.
She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. She said, “There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!” *So I bought her an electric chair.
My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in the carburetor. * I asked where the car was; she told me, “In the lake.”
She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. * Then the mud fell off.
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, “Am I too late for the garbage?” …. The driver said, “No, jump in!”
Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
I haven’t*spoken to my wife in 18 months. * I don’t like to interrupt her.
The last fight was my fault though! My wife asked “What’s on the TV?” *I said “Dust!”
As part of his weekly monologue on his TV show, Red once shared*Red Skelton‘s recipe for the perfect marriage – enjoy!
Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
We also sleep in separate beds. * Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
I take my wife everywhere….. but she keeps finding her way back.
I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. *Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said. *So I suggested the kitchen.
We always hold hands. * If I let go, she shops.
She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. She said, “There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!” *So I bought her an electric chair.
My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in the carburetor. * I asked where the car was; she told me, “In the lake.”
She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. * Then the mud fell off.
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, “Am I too late for the garbage?” …. The driver said, “No, jump in!”
Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
I haven’t*spoken to my wife in 18 months. * I don’t like to interrupt her.
The last fight was my fault though! My wife asked “What’s on the TV?” *I said “Dust!”