Thanks N8RV, I understand. I'm not an English major. Maybe I will take the rest of the week off and re-write everything so it's up to par.
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Be sure to read this post! Beware of scammers. https://www.indianagunowners.com/threads/classifieds-new-online-payment-guidelines-rules-paypal-venmo-zelle-etc.511734/
Story: Out in the cold..
- Thread starter Icarry2
- Start date
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Thanks N8RV, I understand. I'm not an English major. Maybe I will take the rest of the week off and re-write everything so it's up to par.
I'm hoping that you meant that in purple.
Writing can be a great outlet, and not everything that one writes is appreciated by all. Some won't get past the bad grammar and style, others can't follow the story line, and others still simply won't find it interesting. That's writing. You need a very thick skin to succeed at that craft in any appreciable fashion. That's why I don't blog -- I can't take the criticism.
TJ, write on! Like I said, you have a bunch of folks hanging on every line. Good on ya, bud. My advice was meant to be helpful, not meant to rain on your parade.
grunt soldier
Master
I think it's very good so far. there are a few grammatical errors but like you said your not a english teacher. If you publish it, your editor will catch the little things and send it back to you. Don't take the week off lol. that's not fair to the rest of us
Back outside the wind was just a little more than he had thought with gusts of up to 15 miles an hour. The drifts were starting to form and walking would be a pain but removing the snow would show more signs of life than he wanted to depict.
Steve walked up to Ben’s Bronco and with his rifle at the ready looked in to make sure everything was ok. “It’s just us Jameson” Ben responded, don’t be so worried. “Never too careful” Steve replied. Looking back over his left shoulder Steve saw Tasha standing at the back deck sliding glass door with her shotgun low and ready and her hand on the handle. His “all clear” wave promoted her to set the shotgun down and wave at the three of them.
Steve continued with “How much stuff you got Benny” “Oh about 300 pounds of food and gear” he replied. “Well lets use the elevator in the barn so we can use the carts and save the energy.” Steve barked. “Roger that Sir” Ben barked back with a silly attempt at a salute, “which door?” The both began laughing and Elizabeth who had been quietly sitting in the passenger seat spoke up to ask “ Do you think you BOYS can manage this on your own so I can go visit with Tasha?” Steve and Ben both just nodded as Elizabeth not really waiting for an answer climbed down out of the truck and walked around and into the mud room door.
Steve looked at Ben and with a puzzled look on his face asked Ben if everything was ok. He said “As ok as it could be, let’s get this stuff stowed and we can talk about it.”
Steve walked up to Ben’s Bronco and with his rifle at the ready looked in to make sure everything was ok. “It’s just us Jameson” Ben responded, don’t be so worried. “Never too careful” Steve replied. Looking back over his left shoulder Steve saw Tasha standing at the back deck sliding glass door with her shotgun low and ready and her hand on the handle. His “all clear” wave promoted her to set the shotgun down and wave at the three of them.
Steve continued with “How much stuff you got Benny” “Oh about 300 pounds of food and gear” he replied. “Well lets use the elevator in the barn so we can use the carts and save the energy.” Steve barked. “Roger that Sir” Ben barked back with a silly attempt at a salute, “which door?” The both began laughing and Elizabeth who had been quietly sitting in the passenger seat spoke up to ask “ Do you think you BOYS can manage this on your own so I can go visit with Tasha?” Steve and Ben both just nodded as Elizabeth not really waiting for an answer climbed down out of the truck and walked around and into the mud room door.
Steve looked at Ben and with a puzzled look on his face asked Ben if everything was ok. He said “As ok as it could be, let’s get this stuff stowed and we can talk about it.”
Steve directed Ben to pull around then back up to the East door of the barn which he quickly opened and shut once the Bronco was inside. As Steve was closing the door and latching it from the inside Fred poked his head out of the horse stalls to see what was going on. “Uncle Ben” he called out, “I haven’t seen you in forever” Fred ran over to give Ben a hug as he was getting out of the Bronco. Staggering to not be knocked over Ben reminded Fred about his crappy balance on his bad leg. Said the weather makes it throb.. Fred apologized then asked what he was doing there. Ben explained he was dropping off some stuff as he hobbled to the back of the Bronco, his leg taking a few steps to work properly. As the two of them rounded the corner of the truck Steve had been uncovering the elevator hatch and was preparing to lift it open.
Stand back Steve interrupted and as Fred and Ben stepped back out of the way the two halves of the elevator hatch came open and the elevator lifted up to the floor level.
Steve opened the chain hanging across the Bronco side of the lift and said let’s get the stuff down there. Ben opened the glass of the tailgate on the Bronco and while propping up the glass with a broom handle took a little razzing from Steve because he was so mechanically inclined but never kept his own truck fixed..
One by one the totes and black pelican cases were set on the elevator and with leaving enough room for one person Steve stepped onto the lift as Fred scurried to pull the chain up and hand it to him.
Steve explained to Ben that he would unload the lift onto a cart and then bring a cart back up with him for the rest of it. Ben leaned against the tailgate nodded then turned to Fred and asked him if he wanted to make five bucks. Fred looked at Steve who was already sinking into the floor with the whine of the elevator he simply shrugged his shoulders. This was Steve’s way of letting the boy decide if he should take money for something he would normally do for a friend without the concern of getting reimbursed or repaid in any way.
As the lift dropped below the barn floor Fred walked over and asked what do you need Uncle Ben? I will do it for free if you let me shoot your big rifle next spring. “Deal!” Ben replied. Now jump up in the truck and drag those last couple of totes and cases back here to the tail gate.
Fred bounded up into the truck and carefully pulled the remaining items to the back of the truck and then jumping over the items just about falling into the lift hole. Ben reached out and grabbed the boy by his hood nearly choking him and explaining that he should be more careful. Look before you leap boy, don’t want to end up like Uncle Ben with a bum leg.
Ben had been a very carefree and wild spirited young man growing up the only child of a wonderfully beautiful mother who was a home maker and a brilliant engineer of a father who worked for the local foundry. He was always a ladies’ man, taking different girls out on dates, to different school functions. Self proclaimed to have single handedly dated every girl in his high school class. Limping now was normal as Ben turned and fixed Fred’s collar to check and see if he had any marks from the rescuing snag of his jacket zipper. “You OK Fred?” he blurted out as Steve was coming back up on the lift. What happened Steve asked as he was flipping the dirt and dust off of his shoulders that had apparently been kicked into the hole when Fred about bit it. Fred spoke up rubbing his throat, I jumped off the tailgate and about fell in the hole, Uncle Ben grabbed my hood and saved me from falling.. I’m ok..
Steve shaking his head side to side dropped the chain and pushed a dolly cart over to the edge of the tailgate. As Steve loaded the dolly with the last few items, Ben closed the tail Gate and pushed the glass up and sat the broom handle in the back before he closed the glass Fred asked if they needed any more help, “Nope, we got this Fred, go on and finish your chores” Steve kind of barked. “Let your mom know we will be in as soon as we get this stuff put away.” Fred shuffled off to finish his chores.
Ben and Steve both fit on the lift with the dolly full of items. “Down we go” Steve warned signaling Ben to hold on to the corner post and chain. With a slight thud and then smooth movement the lift dropped below the barn floor taking the items and men below.
Once at the bottom of the elevator Ben unhooked the chain and moved it out of the way. As Steve wheeled the cart over to the door at the far end of the room Ben expressed his gratitude in thanking Steve for all he has done for he and his lady. Steve simply replied, “What are brothers for” knowing Ben didn’t have any blood brothers. He knew the men he served with for his short time in the military would always consider him a brother.
Ben who was hobbling to catch up to Steve asked where you want me to put this stuff. Steve stopped as he was opening the heavy metal door and simply replied, “With the rest of your crap.” Both men laughed as they moved the totes and cases into the back storage room which held more of Ben’s food, equipment and gear. Ben spoke up and asked, “Still keeping bang bangs and ammo or components in the armory room only?” Steve looked at Ben with a “yeah stupid” look and Ben just grinned and said anything with a yellow sticker needs to go in there. The rest can go in here.
Just after closing the heavy door and heading back to the lift Ben stopped and asked Steve what he thought all of this chaos meant. Steve simply answered “trouble, just a bunch of trouble.”
Once back up in the barn Steve lowered the lift and closed the hatches and with a distinct clank made sure the lock on the lift hatch was secure. After the cover for the hatch was repositioned and the floor raked and broomed the area which hid the lift was indistinguishable from that of any other part of the barn floor.
Standing at the back of the Bronco Ben shook his head in utter amazement at how the lift and all disappeared. “Amazing, simply amazing” he blurted out. Steve looked at Ben with sort of puzzled look on his face asked “what?” Ben just replied, “Nothing” let’s go warm up.
Stand back Steve interrupted and as Fred and Ben stepped back out of the way the two halves of the elevator hatch came open and the elevator lifted up to the floor level.
Steve opened the chain hanging across the Bronco side of the lift and said let’s get the stuff down there. Ben opened the glass of the tailgate on the Bronco and while propping up the glass with a broom handle took a little razzing from Steve because he was so mechanically inclined but never kept his own truck fixed..
One by one the totes and black pelican cases were set on the elevator and with leaving enough room for one person Steve stepped onto the lift as Fred scurried to pull the chain up and hand it to him.
Steve explained to Ben that he would unload the lift onto a cart and then bring a cart back up with him for the rest of it. Ben leaned against the tailgate nodded then turned to Fred and asked him if he wanted to make five bucks. Fred looked at Steve who was already sinking into the floor with the whine of the elevator he simply shrugged his shoulders. This was Steve’s way of letting the boy decide if he should take money for something he would normally do for a friend without the concern of getting reimbursed or repaid in any way.
As the lift dropped below the barn floor Fred walked over and asked what do you need Uncle Ben? I will do it for free if you let me shoot your big rifle next spring. “Deal!” Ben replied. Now jump up in the truck and drag those last couple of totes and cases back here to the tail gate.
Fred bounded up into the truck and carefully pulled the remaining items to the back of the truck and then jumping over the items just about falling into the lift hole. Ben reached out and grabbed the boy by his hood nearly choking him and explaining that he should be more careful. Look before you leap boy, don’t want to end up like Uncle Ben with a bum leg.
Ben had been a very carefree and wild spirited young man growing up the only child of a wonderfully beautiful mother who was a home maker and a brilliant engineer of a father who worked for the local foundry. He was always a ladies’ man, taking different girls out on dates, to different school functions. Self proclaimed to have single handedly dated every girl in his high school class. Limping now was normal as Ben turned and fixed Fred’s collar to check and see if he had any marks from the rescuing snag of his jacket zipper. “You OK Fred?” he blurted out as Steve was coming back up on the lift. What happened Steve asked as he was flipping the dirt and dust off of his shoulders that had apparently been kicked into the hole when Fred about bit it. Fred spoke up rubbing his throat, I jumped off the tailgate and about fell in the hole, Uncle Ben grabbed my hood and saved me from falling.. I’m ok..
Steve shaking his head side to side dropped the chain and pushed a dolly cart over to the edge of the tailgate. As Steve loaded the dolly with the last few items, Ben closed the tail Gate and pushed the glass up and sat the broom handle in the back before he closed the glass Fred asked if they needed any more help, “Nope, we got this Fred, go on and finish your chores” Steve kind of barked. “Let your mom know we will be in as soon as we get this stuff put away.” Fred shuffled off to finish his chores.
Ben and Steve both fit on the lift with the dolly full of items. “Down we go” Steve warned signaling Ben to hold on to the corner post and chain. With a slight thud and then smooth movement the lift dropped below the barn floor taking the items and men below.
Once at the bottom of the elevator Ben unhooked the chain and moved it out of the way. As Steve wheeled the cart over to the door at the far end of the room Ben expressed his gratitude in thanking Steve for all he has done for he and his lady. Steve simply replied, “What are brothers for” knowing Ben didn’t have any blood brothers. He knew the men he served with for his short time in the military would always consider him a brother.
Ben who was hobbling to catch up to Steve asked where you want me to put this stuff. Steve stopped as he was opening the heavy metal door and simply replied, “With the rest of your crap.” Both men laughed as they moved the totes and cases into the back storage room which held more of Ben’s food, equipment and gear. Ben spoke up and asked, “Still keeping bang bangs and ammo or components in the armory room only?” Steve looked at Ben with a “yeah stupid” look and Ben just grinned and said anything with a yellow sticker needs to go in there. The rest can go in here.
Just after closing the heavy door and heading back to the lift Ben stopped and asked Steve what he thought all of this chaos meant. Steve simply answered “trouble, just a bunch of trouble.”
Once back up in the barn Steve lowered the lift and closed the hatches and with a distinct clank made sure the lock on the lift hatch was secure. After the cover for the hatch was repositioned and the floor raked and broomed the area which hid the lift was indistinguishable from that of any other part of the barn floor.
Standing at the back of the Bronco Ben shook his head in utter amazement at how the lift and all disappeared. “Amazing, simply amazing” he blurted out. Steve looked at Ben with sort of puzzled look on his face asked “what?” Ben just replied, “Nothing” let’s go warm up.
Steve walked around the Bronco to the barn door and mentioned that Ben should just drive over and park by the right garage door. No sense having to walk too far. Ben appreciated this and nodded in agreement as the door was opened.
As the trusty Ford 351 came to life Steve waited holding the barn door for it to motivate the Bronco over to the garage. After shutting the barn door from the inside Steve stopped for a second to make sure that Fred had completed the log entry for the chores he had completed. Shaking his head and with a smile on his face because the boy had done what was expected of him he walked through the small barn door thinking he would like to know which hen wasn’t laying her egg or if they were taking turns just to **** him off. Twelve hens should be twelve eggs no matter what he laughed as he walked in the mud room door Ben was just sitting down to take his boots off.
Steve waited for Ben to wash up after taking his cold gear off and washing up himself. As they walked into the kitchen Lynn who had been sitting on Elizabeth’s lap jumped up and ran over to give Ben a hug. “Here ya go Ben” Tasha handed him a hot cup of coffee, cream and sugar is on the table” she mentioned. Half shaken by Lynn’s hug he cautiously held the cup out away from both of them so as to not burn either of them if the cup was upset. Fred pulling out his chair said “Here Uncle Ben you can sit here” “Why thank you young man” Ben replied, “Don’t mind if I do.”
Tasha asked the kids to go play in the cave that the adults needed to talk some. Lynn ran around the table and gave Elizabeth a big hug and said “let me know before you leave, I have to show you my room.” Elizabeth agreed and like a poof the kids were gone. Downstairs in the kid cave playing.
As the trusty Ford 351 came to life Steve waited holding the barn door for it to motivate the Bronco over to the garage. After shutting the barn door from the inside Steve stopped for a second to make sure that Fred had completed the log entry for the chores he had completed. Shaking his head and with a smile on his face because the boy had done what was expected of him he walked through the small barn door thinking he would like to know which hen wasn’t laying her egg or if they were taking turns just to **** him off. Twelve hens should be twelve eggs no matter what he laughed as he walked in the mud room door Ben was just sitting down to take his boots off.
Steve waited for Ben to wash up after taking his cold gear off and washing up himself. As they walked into the kitchen Lynn who had been sitting on Elizabeth’s lap jumped up and ran over to give Ben a hug. “Here ya go Ben” Tasha handed him a hot cup of coffee, cream and sugar is on the table” she mentioned. Half shaken by Lynn’s hug he cautiously held the cup out away from both of them so as to not burn either of them if the cup was upset. Fred pulling out his chair said “Here Uncle Ben you can sit here” “Why thank you young man” Ben replied, “Don’t mind if I do.”
Tasha asked the kids to go play in the cave that the adults needed to talk some. Lynn ran around the table and gave Elizabeth a big hug and said “let me know before you leave, I have to show you my room.” Elizabeth agreed and like a poof the kids were gone. Downstairs in the kid cave playing.
As she pointed to the TV Tasha brought up that they had rerun the message and all of the news channels were covering the incidents all over. Some parts of the country were completely silent with no word on who or what was controlling them.
Ben sat down followed by Steve. Tasha was careful to keep her now sore behind pointed away and out of reach of Steve as she brought him a hot cup of tea. Steve thanked her and asked what was the matter half laughing at her. Like I need to tell you she replied and gingerly sat down to a cup of coffee.
Being one to not beat around the bush Elizabeth simply asked Steve what he knew about the situation. Steve motioned to Tasha to hand him the note pad off of the counter. Steve read from his notes about the cities that were involved and the information from the warning.
Ben clearing his throat asked Steve if he thought they should make another trip and just be prepared to stay at the compound. Steve replied with a slight smirk and “no” head shake. “If any situations pop up locally or any of these invaders cross the outer most state lines of the states surrounding Indiana then yeah, get your ass back here and be prepared to stay.” Elizabeth spoke up, “Are you sure we are ready? Ready to fight a war?” to which Steve replied, “Lord only knows. Let’s hope that everyone can make it and that we can put up a good defense.”
Ben pulls his old “Jitterbug style” cell phone out of his flannel shirt pocket flipping it open to check the time he giggled and sputtered “I forgot, no signal in this house, lol Well Lizzy I think we should run back to our house and make sure everything is ready to get out of dodge” Elizabeth scowled at Ben, he knew she didn’t like being called Lizzy but did it anyway. “Let me go say bye to Lynn’s room and say good bye to Fred” Elizabeth and Tasha both went downstairs by way of the back stairs. I better get ol Betty runnin, Ben mentioned as he got up taking his and Elizabeth’s coffee cups to the sink. On the way to the mud room Ben shock Steve’s hand nodding with that “thanks’ brother for being my brother” nod. Steve nodded back and winked..
Ben sat down followed by Steve. Tasha was careful to keep her now sore behind pointed away and out of reach of Steve as she brought him a hot cup of tea. Steve thanked her and asked what was the matter half laughing at her. Like I need to tell you she replied and gingerly sat down to a cup of coffee.
Being one to not beat around the bush Elizabeth simply asked Steve what he knew about the situation. Steve motioned to Tasha to hand him the note pad off of the counter. Steve read from his notes about the cities that were involved and the information from the warning.
Ben clearing his throat asked Steve if he thought they should make another trip and just be prepared to stay at the compound. Steve replied with a slight smirk and “no” head shake. “If any situations pop up locally or any of these invaders cross the outer most state lines of the states surrounding Indiana then yeah, get your ass back here and be prepared to stay.” Elizabeth spoke up, “Are you sure we are ready? Ready to fight a war?” to which Steve replied, “Lord only knows. Let’s hope that everyone can make it and that we can put up a good defense.”
Ben pulls his old “Jitterbug style” cell phone out of his flannel shirt pocket flipping it open to check the time he giggled and sputtered “I forgot, no signal in this house, lol Well Lizzy I think we should run back to our house and make sure everything is ready to get out of dodge” Elizabeth scowled at Ben, he knew she didn’t like being called Lizzy but did it anyway. “Let me go say bye to Lynn’s room and say good bye to Fred” Elizabeth and Tasha both went downstairs by way of the back stairs. I better get ol Betty runnin, Ben mentioned as he got up taking his and Elizabeth’s coffee cups to the sink. On the way to the mud room Ben shock Steve’s hand nodding with that “thanks’ brother for being my brother” nod. Steve nodded back and winked..
I will be taking the week off for vacation and spending the holiday with my family. Look for the next update early next week. Hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving. And even though family is sometimes a pain in the arse, be glad you have them, some don't..
Have a Good Vacation and Happy Thanksgiving! I'm really enjoying your story. Take care.
grunt soldier
Master
You cut me deep smalls! I guess I'll just have to due with out. /twitch twitch!!!
Gluemanz28
Grandmaster
I started reding at post number 1 and just finished 87. I couldn't stop reading. Wow great job! Enjoy the holiday and i look forward to reading more.
pitbulld45
Follower of I AM
Good job, thank you.
MamasRight
Plinker
When will you be working on the story again? Trying to be patient
Working on a couple updates, I lost about a week due to being off on vacation and the holiday plus I been sick. I have uploaded all that I had completed before the holiday. I should have something up by the weekend. Sorry folks.
Elizabeth and Tasha walked into the kid cave and Lynn ran up and grabbed Elizabeth’s hand and said let me show you my room as she lead her down the hall to her room, Roscoe in tow. Ben Sat down on the bench to put his boots on and noticed Steve’s rifle leaning against the wall in the corner with the patrol pack laying on the floor next to it. He motions to Steve with his head, you carrying that all the time now? Steve nodded and said yes, SOP for now. Ben remarked that he should probably break out a long gun to carry. “All I been carrying in is old sally” nodding to his right hip where he kept his trusty Springfield 1911. Guess I better rifle up when I get home.
As Ben went outside to start up the Bronco Steve decided he would take one more stroll through the barn to check on the animals. As Steve sat down to put on his outside clothes Elizabeth came through the kitchen door to put her boots and coat on. Tasha standing at the door asked Steve “what do you think you are doing?” Steve remarked that he was going to check the animals one more time. Tasha just smirked, said goodbye to Elizabeth and said she would let them out the gate and button it back up then closed the door.
Elizabeth thanked Steve for the hospitality and for helping out with everything and comment on how nice the house was. As Steve stood up she gave him a hug and they walked outside where Ben had the Ford running and waiting. Steve opened the door for Elizabeth and said adios to Ben. Tasha will open the gate for you, be safe going back home. Ben replied that he would be gearing up and listening to the radio for any indication to bug out. Steve said your always welcome brother. Steve shut the door and Ben backed out and drove down the drive.
As Ben went outside to start up the Bronco Steve decided he would take one more stroll through the barn to check on the animals. As Steve sat down to put on his outside clothes Elizabeth came through the kitchen door to put her boots and coat on. Tasha standing at the door asked Steve “what do you think you are doing?” Steve remarked that he was going to check the animals one more time. Tasha just smirked, said goodbye to Elizabeth and said she would let them out the gate and button it back up then closed the door.
Elizabeth thanked Steve for the hospitality and for helping out with everything and comment on how nice the house was. As Steve stood up she gave him a hug and they walked outside where Ben had the Ford running and waiting. Steve opened the door for Elizabeth and said adios to Ben. Tasha will open the gate for you, be safe going back home. Ben replied that he would be gearing up and listening to the radio for any indication to bug out. Steve said your always welcome brother. Steve shut the door and Ben backed out and drove down the drive.
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