Military BS Stories or the last liar wins.

[KellyinAvon]

Thanks for bumping the thread Tom. (If I've already posted this one don't stop me, I want to read it again )

November 1993: Young USAF SSgt KellyinAvon is stationed at Taegu Air Base (K-2) Republic of Korea. A huge joint/bi-lateral exercise called FOAL EAGLE (or as those of us stationed in the ROK called it, FOUL CHICKEN) was in full-swing. What was a base with 27 Blue-Suiters (and about 5,000 Republic of Korea Air Force, or ROKAF) plus about 150 US Army folks now had over 1,100 troops more than it did.

Taegu had one runway, two taxi ways. The ROKAF flew F-4Ds and F-5Fs (little pointy planes) so the ALCE (Air Lift Control Element) team that parked a Case (as in JI Case, before Case-IH, the few Big Blue had were from the late-70s IIRC) 10K all-terrain fork-lift (end-loader with forks basically) next to a taxi way wasn't a big deal. Until it was.

Taegu Airport (civilian) was pretty small (two gates) and no runway. They flew out of K-2 Air Base. Gates ran across perimeter road, the other gates opened, KAL MD-88s and Asiana 737s taxied across to the taxiway. Saw it many times.

The wing-tips of the KAL MD-88 hung over each side of the taxi way, with one wing aiming right at the cab of the Case AT. ALCE dude jumps in it (allegedly) stomped the foot throttle before turning the key and it wouldn't start.

Two other ALCE dudes go out into the taxi way, throw up the international signal for emergency stop. The KAL co-pilot slides open the window, smiles bigger than hell, and gives them the thumbs-up!!

ALCE dudes vacate the taxi way. The ALCE dude in the fork-lift took the appropriate action: he ducked under the steering wheel. KAL MD-88 wing SHEERS THE CAB OFF THE FORK-LIFT!!

KAL flew that jet out an hour and a half later.

 

[repeter1977]

All I had to do to get awarded a Combat Action Badge was be engaged in direct action against the enemy. Kinda like the CIB (Combat Infantry Badge) or the CMB (Combat Medic Badge). Wasn't too bad, unless you have an aversion to get shot at or blown up.

 

[actaeon277]

About an earlier comment, collision with a surface ship.

When the USS Kitty Hawk collided with a Soviet submarine.
[video=youtube;ACSzlEX362o]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACSzlEX362o[/video]








Back to my "close call" mentioned earlier.

Submarines "sprint and drift", similar to infantry tactics.
AT SEA WITH 'THE SILENT SERVICE'
https://www.nytimes.com/1985/11/03/magazine/at-sea-with-the-silent-service.html

In ''sprint and drift,'' the submarine surges at 20 knots, then slows to 5 knots to be quieter and make it easier for sonar to hear.

Slowing helps you hear, or if going up to take a look, minimizes "feathering" by the periscope.
Then you sprint, scope down, and harder to hear.
Similar to running down the highway with windows down.


Anyway.
If you 'sprint' 60 seconds..
The 'Ethan Allen' class subs (my sub) classified speed listed 21 knots. = 2,127 feet per minute
The 'Midway' class carrier classified speed listed 33 knots. = 3,342 feet per minute.


So, close in to 1 nm (nautical mile) off the beam of the carrier. (2000 yards), or (6000 feet).
Take a look.
Sprint 60 seconds.
Take a look. Should still be over 1/2 nm off the beam.

Unless the carrier turns towards you.
Then, the math (and physics) laugh at all your plans.


All that, in 60 seconds of your life.



Edit:
Note: I used the speeds quoted in Wikipedia, that the Navy released.
Anyone really think the Navy gave the REAL speed achieved?

 

[actaeon277]

I'll go.

The First Gulf War. Saddam Hussein never took Grand Rapids, MI and, in fact, all of West Michigan remained untouched by the Iraqi army. I like to think I played a little part in that.

Quoting this, because Hough needs to be thanked.

 

[actaeon277]

And then there was the 2 times we lost depth control.
Guess which way the sub goes...

If you are imagining an elevator going down real fast...

Dear lord that would scare me so badly I would STILL be pooping myself.

Looking back to make sure I'm not telling a story already told, and I still laugh at this.


Not nearly so funny waking up when it's in a dream though.

 

[2A_Tom]

Who is this new guy necroposting.

 

[actaeon277]

Who is this new guy necroposting.

Probably a runner.

And I don't consider this thread dead.

 

[2A_Tom]

I haven't seen you for a day or two.

 

[actaeon277]

So, this thread/video..
https://www.indianagunowners.com/fo...-everyday-visits-submarine-4.html#post8450349

reminded me of a story.
And of course, I had to reread this entire thread, to make sure I hadn't told it.

My first fire drill on the sub, and I'm the Machinery 2 watchstander.
They used a flashing red light to simulate a fire.
I was confused, till a drill monitor whispered "fire in the breaker". (Main bus breaker, size of 2 small 'dorm' refrigerators).
So I grab the X60J (sound powered battle phone for engineering), and announce..
Maneuvering (pause) Machinery 2 upper level. (who you are calling, followed by who is calling)
Fire in the port non-vital breaker.
Fire in the port non-vital breaker.
Then, I grab an extinguisher, and it proceeds similar to the video.



Another day, another set of drills.
A drill monitor at the forward end of machinery 2 runs at me, waving a clear plastic bag.
I don't know what that means, the drill monitor is not hinting. (They aren't supposed to talk, or be "noticed")
So I grab the x60j and announce a clear waving plastic bag.
THEN they yell at me, to not be a smart ass.
And someone lets me know it's a steam leak simulation.
So I evac amr2, and let maneuvering (engineering control room) know.



3rd story, later. Going to work now.

 

[Alamo]

Was reading an article about the Israeli-UAE peace agreement and a random memory popped up.

In the late 90s I was stationed at Prince Sultan Air Base As part of the peace shield air defense radar system foreign military sales program. My job was at the central maintenance facility, I and a USAF tech sergeant were the only two American military - Everyone else was either Royal Saudi Air Force military member, a contractor from various countries, or Saudi civilian employee. The commander of the place was a Royal Saudi Air Force Brigadier General. Probably a couple hundred people worked in the CMF.

The facility regularly was visited by various VIPs, and the Saudis like to put on a show for such visits. That meant that pretty much all the RSAF officers, senior NCOs, contract managers, God knows how many other people. Since the US Air Force expeditionary wing that was enforcing the no-fly zone over Iraq was also at PSAB, The Wing Commander and his staff were also often invited. Of course I was expected to attend these things as well.

So The whole entourage would show up for the VIP‘s arrival, and then we would all follow Brigadier General Talat and the VIP for a walking tour of the central maintenance facility, which was quite nice by the way. The best part was we always got lunch out of the deal and the cooks were very good at the CMF.

One day Prince Turki was the VIP coming to visit. This was a certifiable big deal. Prince Turki was the son of King Faisal and head of the Saudi government’s intelligence apparatus. Not a guy you would want to cross. Because of this there were many extra officials from Riyadh and elsewhere in the entourage that day. So this huge parade went lumbering after several RSAF generals and the prince for the traditional tour of the facility.

I was pretty close to the front of the mob where I could see Prince Turki when we entered one of the electronics repair rooms. These were big rooms with lots of work benches in them.

I have to make a side note here that in Saudi different nationalities seem to have cornered the market on certain trades. Pretty much every telephone repair guy I ever met there was a Filipino, And they filled a lot of the electronic repair positions in the CMS. They all lived at a camp outside the base where they had minimal quarters. It appeared that many of them got their mail sent to the CMF and it would then be distributed and left on their workbench. It’s also worth noting that many if not all of the Filipinos were Catholics and often had Spanish names, which of course were often biblical-based.

So we all go rolling into this electronics repair room with prince Turki out front and the first thing everybody sees is a huge box that came through the mail is sitting on one of the workbenches waiting to be picked up by a worker. Because it’s a very large box the sender decided to write in very large block letters the recipients first name, but because he wrote it so big, he had to write the last name and the address much smaller. So the first thing that Prince Turki sees is

ISRAEL
Sanchez
followed by the address.

Everybody stopped dead in their tracks with mouths open and then looked at Prince Turki to see what would happen. He stopped and looked at the box for a few seconds while he read it, and then he burst out laughing. Everybody else laughed and the tour proceeded To a most excellent lunch.

 

[actaeon277]

I hated frills and brass.
Thank God I was on an ancient pigboat, and they avoided us like a cankerous homeless person.

One of our JOs (Junior Officers) was RICH.
Had a friend come visit him at the sub.
Friend turned out to be on SecDef's staff.
CO had a conniption that he didn't get warned in time to hold a "field day".
(Field day is NavSpeak for intensive cleaning period).
But what could he do? Come down on a JO with a friend at that level?
And we didn't clean, so we didn't care.


That same JO had a pretty laid back attitude. (All the time)
What were they going to do?
Get rid of him so he could go get richer?
He did NOT need the navy paycheck.

 

[actaeon277]

And we had some brass on board when we went to sea to make our 1,000th dive.
Went to sea special for it.
Dang brass wanted to say they were there when it happened.
So, we drove out, did a couple dives, then brought them back in port JUST so they could say, they were there.
I wouldn't have minded so much, if they did the underway with us. But that was B.S.

Course, a long time at sea with brass might not have been a good idea.
Petty Officer Act didn't get along well with authority.

So, during this short underway, I stayed aft in Engineering. Thankfully no brass was interested in collecting 'zoomies' (getting radiation).
But I was forward for a meal when I heard..
So sailor, what do you think about being here on the 1,000th dive?
Well, as long as the 'goes uppa' equals the 'goes downa' I don't care.

In other words, the crew doesn't care.
If we go up, it's just another day.
If we don't, well, you won't ever have to worry about anything again.


Supposedly this is a big deal.
Rumor was that the hull we had was rated for 1,000.
Cyclic stress was worse than staying at depth.
Or, it could be just cause it was a round number.

I think it was just because it was a round number.

Subs in my day were rated for 30 years.
Nuclear power was new when my sub was designed. I saw paperwork drom the late 50s.
So, they figured it would be outdated anyway. This design criteria was set by the nuke plant, and the fact that neutrons will slowly damage the reactor metals.

I heard modern subs are rated for 50 years. Not sure if true.
But I read about a sub, Pittsburgh I think, at 32 years hit the 1,000 dive.

 

[actaeon277]

And that reminds me we had some brass on the sub a 3rd time.
But I didn't think of it before, because it was spec ops brass from all the services.
They didn't really count, cause they didn't act like brass. They were laid back and didn't dish out Mickey Mouse stuff, just the way us 'phins liked it. NOT like regular brass.

Anyway, we're off doing 'wink-wink, nudge-nudge' stuff, making the world safe for democracy, and I'm the RO (Reactor Operator).
One of the Visitors for some reason, gets a tour of Engineering, including Maneuvering (control room for Engineering ).
So an officer is pointing and talking about the reactor, "blah-blah-blah", when the Visitor finally asks a question.
Of all the questions to ask while underwater with a bunch of superstitious bubbleheads, I'll never understand.
He asked, but what happened to the Thresher?
Do we have to worry about that?
Maybe he was trying to show he did research? Showing that we've only lost 2 nuke subs, decades ago.
But you could have heard a pindrop, only the main engine's hum breaking the silence.
Everyone was already acting on their best. Sitting up straight. Facing their panel. No small talk.
But, you could tell the difference.
The officer told him, we've learned lessons from it, and that particular accident won't happen again. And that he'd explain it better in the Wardroom.
Hell, I could have walked him through it, step by step. And the corrective actions, both in the subs design, and operating procedures. Coulda showed him paperwork on the incident.
But in the control room in the belly of the beast, in Davey Jones's playground?
ARE YOU F'NG KIDDING ME.
Why not just say, "hey, everything's going fine so far"?
How about having a black cat cross your path while walking under a ladder on Friday the 13th?
Damn JINX

Geez.

There are limits to superstitions of course.
Talking about a sub heroically lost on patrol, fine.
But a sub lost on peaceful patrol... nah, skip that. That's just too much.



But aside from trying to jinx us, those "brass" were all right.

 

[actaeon277]

Back to Steam Line Ruptures.

To know why they are important, just Google steam line rupture submarine.
You get a french sub, an amphib assault ship, and a sub tender right off the bat.

The engineroom is designed so that in the event of a SLR, the RO can isolate the main steam stops remotely, as he and everyone in the engineroom dies. The valves take longer to shut, than you have to live.
Death will be first caused by scalding steam burning your skin, followed by your lungs as you gasp for air.
Then, the pressure will kill you.
The rest of the sub's crew will "fight the casualty". Control room will deal with a sub slowly sinking with no propulsion. A couple off watch nukes don steam suits, attempt to find and isolate the leak, so that more crew can enter and return at least partial propulsion to the sub.
During training for this, it is DRILLED into everyone's head, SAVE THE SHIP. Ignore the body you're stepping over. Let the dead bury the dead. And the living are best served by not allowing the boat to go too deep killing everyone else.


This casualty is not mentioned in the recent "smarter every day visits submarine" video, because they happen in Engineering, and he can't go there.
Just as they didn't discuss Radiation Casualty.

 

[actaeon277]

So this drill monitor approaches me waving a clear plastic bag, which I now know is a steam line leak.
Had it been a rupture, they would have just designated me dead, and let the RO notice it on his panel.
So, I yell to lower level the leak, which the watch has popped his head up because the drill monitor is also yelling, steam leaks are loud.
We both unass machinery 2, and shut the hatch.

Normally, you'd then run to Maneuvering, and yell steam leak.
BUT...
Petty Officer Actaeon is a smart ass.
Maneuvering has a chain, instead of a door.
It is to control access to Maneuvering.
You are not supposed to just walk in and out and shoot the ****. It is a controlled space.
You only talk across the chain to ask permission to enter.
Everyone in Maneuvering has many stories of having to explain to shipyard workers they can't "talk across the chain". You have to explain the reason, and that yes, you also think it's stupid. But if they continue, you (not them) will just get in trouble, so please help me by not doing it.

So, Actaeon is feeling his oats, walks calmly up to the chain, and request permission to enter.
The EOOW (Engineering Officer Of the Watch, pronounced eee'ow) denies permission.
Everyone in Maneuvering is intently studying their panel.
Well, except for the Chief Engineer and the Captain. They are ALWAYS the drill monitors in Maneuvering.
They both look at me, and start to smile as I patiently wait.
They both know, I'm a watchstander outside his watch area, which is NOT ALLOWED.
And they know why I'm there, because as I said, they're the drill monitors.
Eventually ChEng (Chief Engineer) mentions to the EOOW that he might want to let me in.
The EOOW is not a total idiot, he's just periscoping on operators in front of him, and their panels, so he tells me to enter.
(Periscoping is giving all your attention to what's in front of you, while something comes from the side, out of view, and bites you in the ass.)
I inform him of a steam leak in machinery 2, an approx, area, finish my report, and exit.
I have nothing to do until the RO remotely isolates the steam system, and I can reenter my space.
Since it wasn't a rupture, it's not as big a deal because everyone's not dead.

I sit there glowing in my opinion of how funny I am.
Till I think that the Captain, ChEng, and the EOOW may not find my humor as funny as I did.
Our previous Old Man was a screamer. Veins popped, red face, and everything tantrum related.
I didn't quite have a handle on the new Old Man yet. He seemed better, but I MIGHT have crossed a line.
The EOOW being angry, I could take that. ROs have a bit more latitude than you'd think.
After all, the RO sits back watching his panel, AND the steam and electrical panels, makes suggestions when the EOOW seems lost, AND suggestions when the EOOW is ready to do something boneheaded, like making the sub a melted glowing pile of glow in the dark slag.
So he can only get soo pissed.
But the ChEng, well, he's the CHIEF Engineer. Not just A Engineer. That could be bad.
And the Old Man. Uh. Captains of Naval Vessels have a LOT of power. So, that could be bad, times 1000.

Anyway, it's the end of the drill set, so the drill monitors go forward and have their AAR (After Action Report).
The monitors from all over Engineering discuss what went right/wrong with each watchstation.

Then the off going watch is brought in to be told what they did right/wrong. Lessons learned. Corrective Actions. Stuff like that.
Oh, and do you need to be told that by now, I'm sweating bullets and cursing how "smart" that I THOUGHT I was?


Most of the drills, not much commenting. Do this better. Be faster in this step. Why did you do this? Etc.
And then it gets to the leak.
I'm really cursing my bravado. I want to rewind, do it less "smarmy".

ChEng asks the off going EOOW what are the indicating of a steam leak.
The EOOW gives the Book answers, which of course is not listed here.
When he finishes, ChEng asks "And?"
Everyone's confused, he gave them all. Probably in the order listed by the Book.
ChEng then says that another indication, would be your two watchstanders being outside their station, asking permission to enter Maneuvering.
Everyone laughs, except the EOOW, cause it didn't make him look good, and me, because I'm still worried about any hammers about to fall. The fact the Capt. smiled doesn't mean ChEng thought it funny.
ChEng then points out, everyone is SUPPOSED to ignore the drill monitors, pretend they aren't there, and do what you normally do.
Which is complete B.S. How do you do that when you know a drill is coming.
And the Capt. and ChEng in Maneuvering. You NEVER act normal then. NEVER.
But he pointed out, that the EOOW was focusing so much on the panels, that he didn't no his machinery 2 watches were in the main engineroom, instead of their space.
THAT ALONE should have gotten a "permission to enter".
Normally, when someone's asks, permission is granted unless it's too busy for some reason. And it wasn't.
Just as it wasn't the job of the EOOW to watch the panels intently, to the exclusion of all else.
He had to stay aware of what's happening, but he had watchstanders to pay attention, and to report to him. That's their job. And his was to be the boss. Which he can't do if he's to focused on minutiae.
So this was a learning experience for a junior officer, one of thousands that JOs have to learn.

When the brief was over, everone was leaving, ChEng followed me until we didn't have an audience and told me, that's something that only works once. Understand?
The navy spent a LOT of money training me, and one of the things they trained me for, was this situation.
I said, "Yes Sir".

I then counted my blessings.
And I vowed to live a less interesting life.
Which of course I then broke, time after time.
But. . I tried.

 

[Nazgul]

I was a young Lance Corporal in the Marines just reported aboard a carrier for Sea Duty. We are somewhere in the Atlantic on the way to the Med.
I had an uncle that I was close to. He worked in the upper management for a high end hotel chain based in Maryland. They were a common place for the Gov to hold meetings so he occasionally met people who you read about in the papers.

Back on the ship, we have mail call. I am invited into the detachment office by the 1st SGT. Him, the CO and XO are eyeing a large envelop addressed to me by the Commandant of the Marine Corps!! Made me open it and inside was a large autographed pic of himself and a note of encouragement tp a young Lance Corporal on sea duty. They gave me a bunch of grief, seemed they were not sure of my explanation..

Fast forward a year, found that CO passed out drunk on the ground in Germany. Carried him back to the ship and dumped him in his stateroom. The XO and I never got along.

Don

 

[actaeon277]

Well, no one "gets along with" the XO.
It's just not civilized.
I went through 3 XOs. I tolerated 1.

2 different COs.

5 different COBs. (Chief Of the Boat)

Only 1 Department Head.

Who knows how many Division Officers.


That doesn't count anyone in the 2.5 year training pipeline I went through.

 

[repeter1977]

I usually tried to avoid anything shiny or too many stripes. Harder to do on a Brigade security detail because we went everywhere the Brigade commander and Sergeant Major went. Good news was we were really good at our jobs so some faux paus were overlooked. Like sleeping in a vehicle between missions and getting caught by a 4 Star in theatre. Fortunately it was that General because he was a great leader and knew Soldiers sleep when and where they can, unlike some other officers that forget that.

 

[Alamo]

... Fortunately it was that General because he was a great leader and knew Soldiers sleep when and where they can, unlike some other officers that forget that.

Well, it’s official now:

For U.S. soldiers to be all they can be the Army recommends taking 'naps whenever possible'

 

[2A_Tom]

Sounds good to me.

When we were jumping most of us slept until the Stand Up Command.