I just saw that we lost Tim and I'm a bit crushed. I knew it was coming but didn't realize it was close, I wish I'd reached out more recently and I pray his family finds peace. I always found Tim to be easy to be around and cut of the same cloth. I know (without evidence) that he's probably saved my rear end from other mods more than a few occasions which makes the timing of things very interesting for me personally. When he did have to sit me down for a talkin to on occasion I don't ever recall there being any tension about it. I've not known a lot of people who I could be either enjoying a great memory with or borderline arguing with and someone across the room watching wouldn't be able to tell the difference, Tim was one of those guys.
In memory of Tim I want to share something I posted elsewhere for my friends and family. I knew Tim to be someone pretty eager to lend a hand to someone in need and I'd like to think he'd appreciate it. I've been away for the past week (aside from a peek now and then to check msgs) and several days of that were visiting a treatment facility in Mexico. For simplicity I'm just going to paste what I put up for friends and family elsewhere to see as the msg is the same.
"I would like to share something with my friends and family for the sole purpose of letting those of you who may be struggling know that there are options outside of the traditionally accepted avenues available, for help and healing.
I intend to disable comments on this post (not an option for me on INGO) for a couple of reasons. First and foremost, this is a very personal issue. There will be many who do not approve and that's ok, I'm not posting for approval and I am not seeking acceptance. This post is also not being put up for any sort of empathy, while I know there are a lot of friends and family who care and are supportive and I very much appreciate it, it is important that everyone know that I am in a better place now than I was last week or have ever been in my life. I am happy to discuss my experience with anyone who has not had success through mainstream medicine but this won't be the place for debate on the issue.
I was diagnosed with PTSD and severe depression approximately three months ago after the mental/emotional pressure cooker I had been in finally ruptured. While I deeply regret what happened, particularly the pain and worry I put my most ardent supporters through, it was the wake up call I needed to seek help. Though mostly well intentioned, the conventional and widely accepted avenues for treatment are slow and methodical and I was running very short on time.
I have been fortunate in my life to meet some incredibly strong men and women. A life spent in service to others via military and public safety creates a fraternity, a basic understanding of the challenges that life may bring. I was approached by a couple of good friends who, while their paths were different than mine and certainly more accomplished, they were familiar with my struggles and they wanted to help. They may never know how instrumental they were in saving my life and I owe them (along with several others) a debt of gratitude I could never hope to repay. This post serves as my wholly inadequate attempt to pay that love and kindness forward.
It will likely take months, if not years for me to unpack the experience of the previous weekend fully, if I am ever able. I expect most will dismiss the idea and that's ok, I am not here to try to talk anyone in to anything. I was desperate, terrified and out of time. Was.
"The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek."
- Joseph Campbell
In memory of Tim I want to share something I posted elsewhere for my friends and family. I knew Tim to be someone pretty eager to lend a hand to someone in need and I'd like to think he'd appreciate it. I've been away for the past week (aside from a peek now and then to check msgs) and several days of that were visiting a treatment facility in Mexico. For simplicity I'm just going to paste what I put up for friends and family elsewhere to see as the msg is the same.
"I would like to share something with my friends and family for the sole purpose of letting those of you who may be struggling know that there are options outside of the traditionally accepted avenues available, for help and healing.
I intend to disable comments on this post (not an option for me on INGO) for a couple of reasons. First and foremost, this is a very personal issue. There will be many who do not approve and that's ok, I'm not posting for approval and I am not seeking acceptance. This post is also not being put up for any sort of empathy, while I know there are a lot of friends and family who care and are supportive and I very much appreciate it, it is important that everyone know that I am in a better place now than I was last week or have ever been in my life. I am happy to discuss my experience with anyone who has not had success through mainstream medicine but this won't be the place for debate on the issue.
I was diagnosed with PTSD and severe depression approximately three months ago after the mental/emotional pressure cooker I had been in finally ruptured. While I deeply regret what happened, particularly the pain and worry I put my most ardent supporters through, it was the wake up call I needed to seek help. Though mostly well intentioned, the conventional and widely accepted avenues for treatment are slow and methodical and I was running very short on time.
I have been fortunate in my life to meet some incredibly strong men and women. A life spent in service to others via military and public safety creates a fraternity, a basic understanding of the challenges that life may bring. I was approached by a couple of good friends who, while their paths were different than mine and certainly more accomplished, they were familiar with my struggles and they wanted to help. They may never know how instrumental they were in saving my life and I owe them (along with several others) a debt of gratitude I could never hope to repay. This post serves as my wholly inadequate attempt to pay that love and kindness forward.
It will likely take months, if not years for me to unpack the experience of the previous weekend fully, if I am ever able. I expect most will dismiss the idea and that's ok, I am not here to try to talk anyone in to anything. I was desperate, terrified and out of time. Was.
"The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek."
- Joseph Campbell
The Mission Within – A Future Free From Veteran Suicide
missionwithin.org