INGO: Joke of the day page

[Tradesylver]

From a weather blog I belong to.
Although a bit corny, today’s quip is weather related. From the ’Net: “Where do bad rainbows go? To Prism. It’s a light sentence, but it gives them time to reflect.” Rufus

 

[JCSR]

Traveler: What's the fastest way to get to Chicago?

Old man at gas station: You walking or driving?

Traveler: Driving of course!

Old man at gas station: Well that's the fastest way..... walking would take much longer.

 

[JCSR]

Two law partners hire a new cute, young secretary and a contest arises between them as to who can bed her first, even though they’re both already married.

Eventually one of them scores with her and his partner is quite eager to hear how things went.

“So what did you think?” he asks.

“Ahh,” replies the first lawyer, “my wife is better.”

Some time goes by, and then the second lawyer goes to bed with the secretary.

“So,” asks the first guy, “what did you think?”

The second guy replies, “You were right.”

 

[Ballstater98]

What did the bed say when the blanket fell off?

Oh sheet!

 

[JCSR]

 

[actaeon277]

Not a joke, so much as an observation I made today.


The only switch in a car used less than the light switch (with the auto on feature), is the turn signal switch on a car with Illinois license plates.

 

[Mongo59]

Not a joke, so much as an observation I made today.


The only switch in a car used less than the light switch (with the auto on feature), is the turn signal switch on a car with Illinois license plates.

Whenever you feel like your life has no value, always remember that some ones sole responsibility is to put the turn signal on a BMW...

 

[Hardscrable]

 

[ZurokSlayer7X9]

Not a joke, so much as an observation I made today.


The only switch in a car used less than the light switch (with the auto on feature), is the turn signal switch on a car with Illinois license plates.

FIP's

 

[Hoosierdood]

Not a joke, so much as an observation I made today.


The only switch in a car used less than the light switch (with the auto on feature), is the turn signal switch on a car with Illinois license plates.

Also the cruise control button. I drive a lot and had so many times where a car constantly plays leap frog with me and 90% of them have Illinois tags.

 

[SheepDog4Life]

I think we all know a "Joe", lol!

 

[Hardscrable]

 

[smokingman]

Do you know how to catch a bear?​

Well, first you have to dig a deep hole in the woods and fill it half-full of ashes from the fireplace. Then place peas all around the outside of the hole. Finally, you hide in some nearby bushes and wait for a bear to come by.

When a bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ash hole.

 

[JCSR]

A plane is on its way to Toronto , when a blonde in economy class gets up and moves to the first class section and sits down.

The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket.

She then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class and that she will have to sit in the back.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Toronto and I'm staying right here."

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blonde bimbo sitting in first class, that belongs in economy and won't move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she will have to leave and return to her seat.

the blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Toronto and I'm staying right here."

The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won't listen to reason.

The pilot says, "you say she is a blonde? I'll
handle this, I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde."

He goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear, and she says, "oh, I'm so sorry." and gets up and goes back to her seat in economy.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

"I told her, "first class isn't going to Toronto."