I'm here to tell you, friends, that's no way to live. I've been married almost half of my life (20+ years at 42 years of age) and it doesn't have to be that way. Men, love and respect your wives and make good financial decisions. Women, respect and trust your husbands.
I say that with a divorce rate at or over 50%, it wouldn't surprise me if a guy was in a relationship where the wife felt it was necessary for a husband to ask permission or where she thought she could give orders. Likewise, it wouldn't surprise me if a guy thought he had to keep things from his wife.
I'm here to tell you, friends, that's no way to live. I've been married almost half of my life (20+ years at 42 years of age) and it doesn't have to be that way. Men, love and respect your wives and make good financial decisions. Women, respect and trust your husbands.
I work hard for the money I bring home - I'll spend some of it however I want. I've told her if she works hard for some money - she gets the same privilege
THIS... 24 years in my case - but the operating principle is exactly the same. You are a wise man, my friend!Been at this over forty years with the same wonderful woman. Common finances from the beginning. Every purchase discussed and agreed in advance. Each contribute to the pot when each is working. Sometimes she was not working (taking care of the kids) sometimes I was not working (going to school), but we dealt with the money the same way. Decided every purchase together. Paid the essentials, rent, food, gas, insurance—all the bills got paid first. Then 10% to our church. Then investments, savings, then extras if any was left. Once the kids were out of the house, we had some extra for hobbies. I bought my first weapon in 2009. Gradually added those things necessary. Always done by agreement. Wife bought things she needed/wanted as her interests and hobbies changed. It was a partnership, based on a loving commitment to our wedding vows.We do not always agree, but we do always extend freedom of action within the relationship. If I really want something, I can get it; if she really wants something, she gets it. Neither of us always gets what we want—except a happy spouse who will never do anything to harm the relationship. We both know the other is the greatest treasure we have.
If there is a shortage of funds then I would not even approach the wife about such a purpose. Family first/last/always. Once a way is found to get said funding then I let the wife know and she smiles. The wife knows that in times of need I will sell anything I have acquired to keep the lights on. I have done this a few times in our 32 yrs. of partnership. I always keep "Enough" for protection etc. but anything of value is expendable in time of need.
I have sold my hot-rods, motorcycles and my guns when the situation warrants. I can replace them later.
The wife also knows that what the wife wants/needs is only a request away.
Partnership....
Been at this over forty years with the same wonderful woman. Common finances from the beginning. Every purchase discussed and agreed in advance. Each contribute to the pot when each is working. Sometimes she was not working (taking care of the kids) sometimes I was not working (going to school), but we dealt with the money the same way. Decided every purchase together. Paid the essentials, rent, food, gas, insurance—all the bills got paid first. Then 10% to our church. Then investments, savings, then extras if any was left.
Once the kids were out of the house, we had some extra for hobbies. I bought my first weapon in 2009. Gradually added those things necessary. Always done by agreement. Wife bought things she needed/wanted as her interests and hobbies changed. It was a partnership, based on a loving commitment to our wedding vows.
We do not always agree, but we do always extend freedom of action within the relationship. If I really want something, I can get it; if she really wants something, she gets it. Neither of us always gets what we want—except a happy spouse who will never do anything to harm the relationship. We both know the other is the greatest treasure we have.
Ok so I have a question, I've been reading some threads and I keep seeing this reoccurring statement "My wife said no" or "Wife said one has to go". Is this a real situation or is this something guys use as an excuse? I could only wish for the day my wife actually tells me no on a gun.. or any purchase for that matter.
Don't get me wrong I respect my wife, and I value her input, but NO?????
What say ye INGO?
Yes, and I am a stay-at-home dad as well. She isn't doing it all alone while I leave her to fend for herself all day. I do my job + help around the house/with my son/etc.Is she a stay-at-home mom?
Not kidding, just not the 'whole story' so to speak.If so, then you both agreed she wouldn't earn an income but would support the family a different way. I hope you're kidding on this statement since it's hard to tell on the net with people you don't know...
Absolutely - if that's what she wanted to do I'd be more than happy to help out more than I already do.would you cut back your hours and take over domestic chores and child care to allow her to work and this spend money without approval?
Never said I was in-charge and she had to deal with it. What I am saying is that i get to spend a portion of what I bring in on whatever I want. I.e. if I bring home $5,000 I can go spend $500 on something I want, and then we both have control over the remaining $4500.regardless, relationships work better when both people are in charge of the resources.
If it's only a few bucks it's not worth the time/effort for either of us. If it's a multi-hundred-dollar purchase it will be discussed even if it came from my 'cut' of the money.It's a very rate thing that I do without my wife's blessing.
There are always better ways to spend money - but when the reaper pays you a visit - you've only had your one life and if you didn't live it to the max you missed out.And usually in the end it was something selfish in retrospect that we would have been off having done something else