Thousands of birds drop dead in mid-flight; town covered with corpses

[thompal]

Looks like bumpy roads ahead boys and girls. Might wanna pull those craniums out of the rectum canal...

No, it's all OK. They were talking about this on the news tonight, and a nationally recognized dead bird expert said that all of the birds simply got scared by fireworks on New Years Eve and took off. And apparently birds can't see well enough to fly in the dark, so they all crashed into buildings and died.

It would seem that all of those birds which were dead far away from any buildings (such as next to roads) were merely going very fast, and when they crashed into buildings, they simply bounced far away.

So, you see . . . . everything is fine. There's nothing to see here citizen. Move along.

 

[jontheturboguy]

No, it's all OK. They were talking about this on the news tonight, and a nationally recognized dead bird expert said that all of the birds simply got scared by fireworks on New Years Eve and took off. And apparently birds can't see well enough to fly in the dark, so they all crashed into buildings and died.

It would seem that all of those birds which were dead far away from any buildings (such as next to roads) were merely going very fast, and when they crashed into buildings, they simply bounced far away.

So, you see . . . . everything is fine. There's nothing to see here citizen. Move along.

Yah' cause all da birds across the world all done did died at once. Super seeekrat bird & fish jihad....

 

[thompal]

Yah' cause all da birds across the world all done did died at once. Super seeekrat bird & fish jihad....

Shhhhh! We're not supposed to let anyone know that it's really a secret plot by the suicidal avian jihadists in a devious ploy to spread bird mites!

I've heard rumors that next summer, there will be hoards of Taliban-led chipmonks who will launch a sophisticated and coordinated campaign to nibble our ankles and ruin our socks.

 

[ThrottleJockey]

Okay guys, here's the thing. The problem isn't that they're dying, but rather WHY they're dropping dead. It is an INDICATOR of a problem rather than a problem. Sort of the whole 5 legged/2 headed frog, in itself, no big deal but when noticed, those frogs point out a serious issue that needs to be dealt with. Will you be buying chicken or turkey in the near future? If so, I sure hope you don't wind up being among the first humans effected by whatever this is if it is a chem/bio/rad thing. What happens if it continues and the bird population dwindles drastically? Are you prepared to handle the pest/mosquito control on your own? It's time for more critical thinking and less pointing and laughing folks, this isn't high school anymore and we certainly can't trust the government to take care of things for us. WE ARE THE PEOPLE.

 

[thompal]

Okay guys, here's the thing. The problem isn't that they're dying, but rather WHY they're dropping dead. It is an INDICATOR of a problem rather than a problem. Sort of the whole 5 legged/2 headed frog, in itself, no big deal but when noticed, those frogs point out a serious issue that needs to be dealt with. Will you be buying chicken or turkey in the near future? If so, I sure hope you don't wind up being among the first humans effected by whatever this is if it is a chem/bio/rad thing. What happens if it continues and the bird population dwindles drastically? Are you prepared to handle the pest/mosquito control on your own? It's time for more critical thinking and less pointing and laughing folks, this isn't high school anymore and we certainly can't trust the government to take care of things for us. WE ARE THE PEOPLE.

I'm not laughing at the dead birds. I'm not even laughing at the birds for their inconsiderate behavior. I am laughing, as I usually do, at the government's ineptness.

For example, birds died, in concentrated batches, over a period of several days. So, the government in its wisdom, explains it as being because the birds got scared due to fireworks, which would have been only at midnight on New Years Eve. Nobody who was interviewed said "yeah, this happens every year that we have fireworks."

I've also heard government-sponsored experts claim it was due to cold weather. I have a hard time believing that several hundred birds are flying, and all die within a few seconds of each other of natural causes. Same with disease. A flock of birds who are infected with some deadly bird disease may die by the hundreds OVER THE COURSE OF A DAY OR TWO. They are not going to all die withing seconds of each other.

I could more easily believe some bizarre test of a high energy hypersonic weapon or military RADAR.

I could not, however, believe anything the government says, because, well, because I never believe anything the government says and I don't feel like starting now.