… I'm leaning more towards 20ga, mostly because my older son, wife, daughter can handle it. …
I thought that too, many years ago, before Rob Haught popularized the push-pull technique. It makes the very 12 manageable. (Not to mention that since many 20 ga guns are lighter than their 12 ga counterparts - resulting difference in recoil isn’t as much as many think.)
So, anyway, back in the day, I picked up a youth 20 for just the reason you state. Fast forward to today - it’s a non-issue. Took my teenage daughter to a defensive shotgun class and she was fine shooting a 12 ga all day long. Put a shorter pull stock on a 12 and away you go.
See:
Frankly, I can’t see myself ever buying another 20 ga. YMMV.
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