I used to work for the devil, I have seen true evil

[churchmouse]

I know many of you don't have the time to read my post in it's entirety so I pulled out a quick read defining moment that had haunted me until I put it on my exit interview.

This incident was a defining moment for me. I guess you might say this was my aha moment that I was working for the devil and needed to work on getting out.

Maybe this will help explain to some of you why it's still torments me. And perhaps less of you can tell me to just get over it.

Sorry guys this was pretty rotten and still makes me tear up sometimes when I think about it. Which is also why I just copy paste from the exit interview instead of actually wanting to rewrite and relive those moments. So here goes.

• My mother died unexpectedly in December 2018. In January 2019 I found out my sister’s cancer was no longer treatable and she might have 6 months to live.
• 
  
• I was trying to take care of my mom’s house and pets while also trying to spend as much time as I could with my sister.
• 
  
• The end of January 2019 EnablerC and Bean were visiting. During the day my niece called to tell me the doctor said her mother was dying and they didn’t think she had much time left. I was crushed. I was heartbroken. I just lost my mom and now I was losing my favorite sister.
• 
  
• I was trying to maintain my composure. I was trying to be strong and not to cry. I held it together for the most part until after Bean left. Then DevilD told me I had to start working 50 hours a week. I told him my sister was dying and how overwhelmed I was. He told me it didn’t matter. He told me I had to do it.
• 
  
• I asked him how he could expect me to work 50 hours when he didn’t even work 40 hours a week. He got angry at me and told me it was none of my business.
• 
  
• He called EnablerC in the room. EnablerC chastised me for crying. He told me a manager is not supposed to let their employees see their emotions. I told EnablerC my sister was dying and how overwhelmed I was. I tried to tell him how much I needed those three hours on Thursdays. EnablerC told me two or more times that he would accept my resignation if I couldn’t handle it.

How do you like those cookies guys? The story doesn't end there though it just gets worse Tell me that wouldn't eat at your soul just a little bit too.

I lost my mom, my sister and my brother-in-law within an eight month period. I didn't receive a single sympathy card. All I got was harassed and tormented.

So yes, those bastards are still living free in my head.

I'm sure a lot of it is unresolved grief enhanced by their horrible behavior.

Had something very similar.
Brother was on life support. Boss was bugging me to get back in my truck as they were getting very busy. I told him where I was and what I was doing. Family meeting as to his future. He made a few remarks and hung up.

Next day I am at his bedside preparing to see the machines shut down when the phone rings. Its the boss. He is jumping my ass wanting to know where I am and so on.
I again explained that he was full aware of my situation and had been informed in full detail multiple times. He responded with we need to get these calls ran to which I disconnected the call. He called back asking if we had been cut off........yup, again same thing then I shut the phone off.

We saw my brother off to his maker. The next day my truck was at the shop devoid of my tools.
Life is to short for this crap.

 

[gungirl65]

Had something very similar.
Brother was on life support. Boss was bugging me to get back in my truck as they were getting very busy. I told him where I was and what I was doing. Family meeting as to his future. He made a few remarks and hung up.

Next day I am at his bedside preparing to see the machines shut down when the phone rings. Its the boss. He is jumping my ass wanting to know where I am and so on.
I again explained that he was full aware of my situation and had been informed in full detail multiple times. He responded with we need to get these calls ran to which I disconnected the call. He called back asking if we had been cut off........yup, again same thing then I shut the phone off.

We saw my brother off to his maker. The next day my truck was at the shop devoid of my tools.
Life is to short for this crap.

Sorry CM no one should ever have to decide between having a job and being with our loved ones when they pass.

I just don't understand how some people can be so cold and insensitive.

My sister was one of the bravest people I knew. Her bravery in the end helped me find the strength to lay the foundation so I could break away and set myself free.

Although I still have some unresolved grief I am so much happier now. Working for a bad company is a lot like a bad relationship. It'll just take a little bit of time to heal.

As I experience happiness in my new life it helps erase the pain from the old one. It also helps that I'm older and it's harder to focus on things for extended periods of time.

March 29th was the two year anniversary of my sister's passing so between that and the exit interview it brought a lot of unresolved feelings to the surface. The things I had buried so I could cope I am now dealing with. Healing is just around the corner.

 

[KG1]

Sorry CM no one should ever have to decide between having a job and being with our loved ones when they pass.

I just don't understand how some people can be so cold and insensitive.

My sister was one of the bravest people I knew. Her bravery in the end helped me find the strength to lay the foundation so I could break away and set myself free.

Although I still have some unresolved grief I am so much happier now. Working for a bad company is a lot like a bad relationship. It'll just take a little bit of time to heal.

As I experience happiness in my new life it helps erase the pain from the old one. It also helps that I'm older and it's harder to focus on things for extended periods of time.

March 29th was the two year anniversary of my sister's passing so between that and the exit interview it brought a lot of unresolved feelings to the surface. The things I had buried so I could cope I am now dealing with. Healing is just around the corner.

Hey gg,

I’m getting the sense that the situation with your old employment coupled with having to deal with the passing of your Mother and Sister had you so beat down to the point where you don’t feel worthy of being happy.

You chose to pick yourself up and leave that toxic environment. That was a good first step.

“Healing is just around the corner”

Turn the corner and don’t look back. Embrace the happiness in your new life. It’s there for the taking and don’t feel guilty. You are worthy.

Don’t let the past control your future. You’re on the right path now. Follow it.

 

[Nazgul]

I worked for an amazing company for almost 20 years. When my wife fought cancer then passed away they were there for me every minute. When she was diagnosed the operations manager called me in the office and said whatever I needed just ask. They followed through to. All of them came to the funeral.

Fast forward 5 years, I accepted a supervisor position in the office, road work was becoming a little difficult because of arthritis. We had a change of the lower level managers, my 2 immediate bosses. They made life a living hell for me. Service calls day and night, had 38 calls one weekend, most between 8 pm and 5 am. No sleep. Laughed when I pointed out how difficult it was to focus, said I could leave if I wanted. Took calls sitting in my deer stand, at the movies, in the hospital when my current wife had a problem, even when I was off with a major infection. Was forced to go back to work way too soon after that one.

My immediate boss couldn't read or write as well as he should have. So I inherited a lot of his work, which he resented. Almost left several times but I was approaching retirement.

Glad I stayed, got to see both of them load their stuff into cardboard boxes and walk out when they were fired.

Gave them their phone back, retired and now they are not even a distant memory. I will never be put in a situation like that again, but then again, I don't have to work that much anymore.

Don

 

[BiscuitsandGravy]

Healing is just around the corner. That is wonderful...

Sometimes we need to be able to let things go. Especially those things that are out of our control. Bad jobs, bad relationships, bad marriages... The only thing we have control over in life is ourselves.

Glad you are finding a path to happiness. Life is too short to put up with other peoples crap and abuse.

Another thing I have learned during these crazy times is to always count my blessings.

Almost 11 years ago, my mother and I spent the entire month of May in the St. Vincent ICU with my dying father. My work said, do whatever you need to do, just keep in touch. I was blessed to have a wonderful boss. And yes, a lot of colleagues showed up at my Dad's funeral. Great employers are out there that would be happy to have your talent and expertise in whatever you do.

It appears that you have a lot of INGO uncles and older brothers here!

Take care,

 

[femurphy77]

Sorry for you loss GG, there's no reason to have had to put up with the **** you did on top of that. I will add that you're a much stronger person than I, I'd probably be using the prison library computer or a cell phone that reeked of rectal juices right now if it'd been me.

 

[indytoe]

"Grandmaster" GG:
So, like, yeah -- 24 posts in a decade of membership here... It's really got to be something to get me to sign in.
Your I used to work for the devil... pretty much qualifies. WOW what a post.

But I'd like to remind you publicly of some things you already know. You're bright, hard-working, focused, stand upright in a world seemingly bent on diminishing us in a *vast* number of ways. You strive for quality, make the best of *so*many* circumstances, are bent on self-improvement, and carry a deep love of friends & family in your heart.

You rock.

Okay, so, that's it. That's my 25th post. Worth it, no?
"Plinker" 'toe.

(Obligatory Gun Note: that Gamo is spitting quarter-sized groups offhand at 20 yards, and for <2¢ a shot. I mean, "C'mon." Can your .357 do that? heh!)

 

[gungirl65]

It appears that you have a lot of INGO uncles and older brothers here!

I'm not so sure about the older part. Some places I actually qualify for a senior discount.

I always wanted a brother but I was my dad's last chance for a boy and he blew it.

Thanks, I appreciate everyone's kindness.

 

[churchmouse]

Sorry for you loss GG, there's no reason to have had to put up with the **** you did on top of that. I will add that you're a much stronger person than I, I'd probably be using the prison library computer or a cell phone that reeked of rectal juices right now if it'd been me.

Yup.

 

[kickbacked]

Im sorry you had to deal with that and hope you find happiness in your next adventure.

 

[DFacres]

So sorry you had to endure that and for so long. I’ve been blessed to have had a lengthy career that has mostly been under good management. One bad one in particular many years ago was a back stabbing piece of work. You always had to be on guard & if she was around. Fortunately for us, she got promoted to another facility in another state. Bad for the receiving facility though. I knew people there and heard stories that she was still the same. Ironically, she later would be fired/forced retirement from an incident wherein she left her panties for the janitor trying to entice him.

It is wonderful having a job that you like, and good colleagues around you. Sometimes work gets in the way of my personal life, but for the most part, 40 years at the same career is still rewarding & still enjoyable to continue doing.
Stay blessed & hopefully the effort you depicted on your exit review will make it better long term with changes there.

 

[E7Wrangler]

I am sorry for what you went though! I hope sharing here with a supportive community helps you.

From my own experience it took me 15 years to learn, and I still struggle, but I finally decided that it takes time and energy to be angry and frustrated at people that wrong me. I have tried to learn, that after the situation is resolved, my being angry and upset about past actions doesn't hurt the negative people it only wastes my energy and takes an emotional toll on me. I decided I will not waste my life, hurting myself, thinking about what they did that I can't change. I will not give them anymore power to make me sad, angry or negative. Now if I were actually a good person I should forgive and move on. Since I am not really a great person I vindictively settle for telling myself, I will not waste anymore time or energy thinking about them or being upset.

That doesn't mean I would **** on them if they were on fire, they can just burn (I said I wasn't really a good person). It does means I won't hurt myself by staying mad and sad. I will choose to be happy and positive and move on. Easier said than done but I wish you the best.

 

[Timjoebillybob]

Sorry you had to put up with so much in a time of sorrow, or any time really. I've had some bad bosses but nothing that could even come close to comparing.

EnablerC told me two or more times that he would accept my resignation if I couldn’t handle it.

You're a stronger person than I, that would have been my answer. Especially with what you had put up with before.

Had something very similar.
Brother was on life support. Boss was bugging me to get back in my truck as they were getting very busy. I told him where I was and what I was doing. Family meeting as to his future. He made a few remarks and hung up.

Not quite similar, I had custody of my son when his mom passed away. OD, to make matters worse the coroner knew the family (uncle was big into politics). So he stopped by to deliver the news personally, he told her mom and my son was up visiting and came out to see what was up. The asshat coroner looked at him and said "You're moms dead, she over dosed on drugs. Don't do drugs". That right there was probably the closest I've ever came to going to prison when I heard that.

But the funeral was scheduled and I would have to take two days off for it. No way I wasn't going to be there to help support my son (he was 10). I was pushing the point system at work (had been doing 6 day weeks for going on two years straight) so I talked to the head of my dept, he told me to talk to HR. I talk to them and explain everything, and they tell me since we wern't married it would be unexcused and I would point out. I said well if that is how you feel consider this my call in for those two days and I'll be back on X(the next work day after the funeral) to pick up my pink slip. Have a nice day. They just stared at me speechless. Went in to work expecting to get my pink slip, nothing. Made it about another year there.

Sorry CM no one should ever have to decide between having a job and being with our loved ones when they pass.

I just don't understand how some people can be so cold and insensitive.


March 29th was the two year anniversary of my sister's passing so between that and the exit interview it brought a lot of unresolved feelings to the surface. The things I had buried so I could cope I am now dealing with. Healing is just around the corner.

I agree and can't understand myself except some people are strait up sociopaths or borderline. I do understand at some large corps they can't make exceptions. As I was told if they made exceptions for one person everyone that they didn't do it for could sue.

I wish you the best. They say time heals all wounds but that is BS, it can help lessen the pain of them though.