If you're okay with polymer-framed pistols, the Springfield Armory XD 45 has really impressed me in the 15 months I've owned one. I have short fingers and small hands but I find the grip natural and comfortable, and recoil is very manageable. Very accurate, nice trigger, easy to shoot. I have not found one thing that I strongly dislike about the pistol. Maybe a big larger or heavier than some would want to carry, but a reliable pistol that I've had a pleasure owning and shooting.
M&P compact or G-30 would be my choice given the parameters. Don't hesitate to get a used one if you can find one, you will never wear either of the out.
I used to carry a FireStorm .45 (compact size pistol made by Bersa) It was surprisingly accurate and never malfunctioned. It was plain black finish but I had no problems with function. My preference is for metal firearms.
I would definitely look into the FNX-45. You might be able to find one used around $500-$600. Comfortable, nice trigger, and high capacity for a .45. That's my recommendation.
Well Like most folks said, The Sig P-220 or the Glock 36. But It's really how you like the feeel in YOUR HAND! I do like both and have both, you may try them both, Just drive North to Indy sometime.
I have the full size stainless S&W 4566TSW with a 4.25" barrel.
But there's also the stainless S&W compact Models 4516 & 457S which have 3.75" barrels.