The Vidoe of the Guy shooting the G23 at 230 yards that is cool great job
Here's another vote for the XDm. Better ergonomics then the glock and a better trigger then the M&P.
My vote is for the Glock G17, I'm not a fan of M&Ps they look like a dressed up Sigma! But shoot them all and see what best fits you.
How come you're so set on the 9mm, in my opinion .40 is a better self defense round anyway, right under .45 acp that is. Are you concerned about the recoil of a shorter higher caliber, than the smoothness of a 9mm with a longer barrel and full size frame?