A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying a cocktail after work one night, when the bar door opened and the most gorgeous hunk of a man she had ever seen entered. He was tall, muscular, and handsome, with thick dark hair and goatee, beautiful, sparkling brown eyes, and his every movement was so masculine and sensuous that the woman could not help but stare.
The man noticed that he was the object of the woman's rapt attention, and with a sly, sexy smile, approached her. Blushing, she prepared to apologize for staring, but he leaned close and whispered in her ear.
"I'll do anything," he whispered in a deep, soft voice. "Anything, absolutely anything you want, anything you have ever fantasized, for fifty dollars. There's just one condition..."
Trembling with anticipation, the woman asked him the condition. The man said, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
The woman gazed into his hypnotic eyes, considering the proposition, then reached into her handbag and took out fifty dollars. She scribbled her address on a napkin, folded it around the cash, and pressed it into his waiting hand.
She leaned over and whispered into his ear... "Clean... my... house."
The other day, I was at the store with my ol' lady. She led my by the ladies undies section, and I saw one brand that boldly advertised, "NO RIDE-UP GUARANTEE". I guess that's important to ladies too, as I know I like my shorts to stay where they're supposed to, and not go where they're not supposed to.
But, a GUARANTEE? Money back? How could you lose? I thought I just may have to switch the brand of my unmentionables.
Then I wondered, how would I make a claim against that warranty? Would I have to take a picture of them in the act of riding up? Would I have to remit the actual drawers themselves, including the evidence that they had, in fact, ridden up? And to whom would I plead my case? I can't see missing work, and travel expenses, just to visit the manufacturer. And I surely wouldn't trust such things to the US Mail. Would I have to air my "dirty laundry", so to speak, in the semi-public forum of the Wal-Mart customer service center?
All this worrying gave me a rash of the hives. I believe I'll stick to drawers for fellers. Yes, they do ride up from time to time, but I knew they'd do that when I bought 'em.