Just a whole bunch of us have gone thru all of this and more than a few have spent some serious money reinventing the wheel. But, in the end, we're all a bit different and that make it nearly impossible to say "I do this, so it'll work for you, too."
I believe the biggest issue is that people need to commit to it.
No matter how uncomfortable, annoying, or self consciously concerning it may be.
Every time you hit that door, have that gun on you, no excuses. After you establish this mind set your wallet will thank you.