Armed Eastsider
Shooter
- Jun 13, 2010
- 747
- 16
WARNING: AGAIN NOT FOR THE EASILY OFFENDED. THESE ARE NOT MY JOKES, THEY ARE OFF RANDOM WEBSITES
Im pretty anti union, in case you couldnt tell. I do happen to have a Teamster job. Please dont tell me "If you hate unions, you should quit your union job"
Its not really a valid argument, Im not gonna give up a good job because of the union crap that I have no part of.
Fully expect to severely **** some people off, couldnt care less to be honest. I get pretty sick of the union crap at work. Guys who sit in the break room for 2 hours making $24 an hour because theres no work that directly pertains to their bid. But they are entitled to it per the contract!
Some of my favorites:
----------------------------
A dedicated Teamsters Union worker was attending a convention
in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels. When
he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union
house?"
"No," she replied, "I'm sorry, it isn't."
"Well, if I pay you $100.00, what cut do the girls get?"
"The house gets $80.00 and the girls get $20.00."
Mightily offended at such unfair dealings, the man stomped off
down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized
shop. His search continued until finally he reached a brothel
where the Madam responded, "Why, yes, sir, this IS a Union House."
The man asked, "And if I pay you $100.00, what cut do the girls get?"
"The girls get $80.00 and the house gets $20.00."
"That's more like it!!!" the Teamster said. He handed the Madam $100.00,
looked around the room and pointed to a stunningly attractive blonde.
"I'd like her for the night."
"I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madam, then pointing to an 85
year-old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has seniority."
--------------------------------
Two Teamsters are standing around talking. The first Teamster notices that the second Teamster keeps looking down at a snail near his foot and getting more and more on edge.
Finally, the second Teamster stomps the snail and crushes it into snail dust and slime.
“Hey, whydjya do that?” the first Teamster yells. “That snail wasn’t hurtin’ any thing.”
“The hell you say,” the second Teamster yells. “That damned snail’s been followin me around all day!”
----------------------------------
- How many Teamsters does it take to unload a tractor-trailer? What damn business is it of YOURS?!!
------------------------------------
- How can you tell the Teamsters’ kids at the local playground? They’re the ones sitting in lawnchairs and eating doughnuts.
----------------------------------
- How can you tell when a Teamster’s died? The doughnut drops out of his hand.
------------------------------------
Why do the teamsters use a horse as a mascot?
Because its the only working animal known to man to sleep standing up….
--------------------------------------
Two managers and a union worker were fishing on a lake one day, when Jesus walked across the water and joined them in the boat. When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked humbly, "Jesus, I've suffered from
back pain ever since I took shrapnel in the Vietnam war...could you help me?" "Of course, my son", Jesus said, and when he touched the man's back, he felt relief for the first time in years. The second man, who wore very thick glasses and had a hard time reading and driving, asked if Jesus could do anything about his eyesight. Jesus smiled, removed the man's glasses and tossed them in the lake. When they hit the water, the man's eyes cleared and he could see everything distinctly. When Jesus turned to heal the union worker, the guy put his hands up and cried defensively, "Don't touch me! I'm on long term disability."
------------------------------------
What did Jesus tell the Teamsters before he died??
"Dont do anything til I get back!!"
-------------------------------------
Links:
www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/1432594/posts
www.[B]jokes[/B]4fun.com/category/joke/Union_Jokes
The last joke I typed myself. I did NOT make it up, but I have heard it so many times, so I dont have a link for that one, but again it is NOT my joke.
Im pretty anti union, in case you couldnt tell. I do happen to have a Teamster job. Please dont tell me "If you hate unions, you should quit your union job"
Its not really a valid argument, Im not gonna give up a good job because of the union crap that I have no part of.
Fully expect to severely **** some people off, couldnt care less to be honest. I get pretty sick of the union crap at work. Guys who sit in the break room for 2 hours making $24 an hour because theres no work that directly pertains to their bid. But they are entitled to it per the contract!
Some of my favorites:
----------------------------
A dedicated Teamsters Union worker was attending a convention
in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels. When
he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union
house?"
"No," she replied, "I'm sorry, it isn't."
"Well, if I pay you $100.00, what cut do the girls get?"
"The house gets $80.00 and the girls get $20.00."
Mightily offended at such unfair dealings, the man stomped off
down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized
shop. His search continued until finally he reached a brothel
where the Madam responded, "Why, yes, sir, this IS a Union House."
The man asked, "And if I pay you $100.00, what cut do the girls get?"
"The girls get $80.00 and the house gets $20.00."
"That's more like it!!!" the Teamster said. He handed the Madam $100.00,
looked around the room and pointed to a stunningly attractive blonde.
"I'd like her for the night."
"I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madam, then pointing to an 85
year-old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has seniority."
--------------------------------
Two Teamsters are standing around talking. The first Teamster notices that the second Teamster keeps looking down at a snail near his foot and getting more and more on edge.
Finally, the second Teamster stomps the snail and crushes it into snail dust and slime.
“Hey, whydjya do that?” the first Teamster yells. “That snail wasn’t hurtin’ any thing.”
“The hell you say,” the second Teamster yells. “That damned snail’s been followin me around all day!”
----------------------------------
- How many Teamsters does it take to unload a tractor-trailer? What damn business is it of YOURS?!!
------------------------------------
- How can you tell the Teamsters’ kids at the local playground? They’re the ones sitting in lawnchairs and eating doughnuts.
----------------------------------
- How can you tell when a Teamster’s died? The doughnut drops out of his hand.
------------------------------------
Why do the teamsters use a horse as a mascot?
Because its the only working animal known to man to sleep standing up….
--------------------------------------
Two managers and a union worker were fishing on a lake one day, when Jesus walked across the water and joined them in the boat. When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked humbly, "Jesus, I've suffered from
back pain ever since I took shrapnel in the Vietnam war...could you help me?" "Of course, my son", Jesus said, and when he touched the man's back, he felt relief for the first time in years. The second man, who wore very thick glasses and had a hard time reading and driving, asked if Jesus could do anything about his eyesight. Jesus smiled, removed the man's glasses and tossed them in the lake. When they hit the water, the man's eyes cleared and he could see everything distinctly. When Jesus turned to heal the union worker, the guy put his hands up and cried defensively, "Don't touch me! I'm on long term disability."
------------------------------------
What did Jesus tell the Teamsters before he died??
"Dont do anything til I get back!!"
-------------------------------------
Links:
www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/1432594/posts
www.[B]jokes[/B]4fun.com/category/joke/Union_Jokes
The last joke I typed myself. I did NOT make it up, but I have heard it so many times, so I dont have a link for that one, but again it is NOT my joke.
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