The Baracolyps: Sequestration D+1

[cobber]

Sore throats have to be reviewed by the Death Panel.
How old are you? We must know so we can decide if cough medicine will be worth the expense

I'll tough it out, but it I get post-nasal drip too, I expect the Health Police to come terminate me.

 

[ZombieApocolypse]

My AA battery charger quit working today .... A sure sign our infrastructure is next to go

 

[RabbleRouser]

I cant find my left shoe, damn racist republicans

 

[cobber]

It was cold today. I called 911 to complain about my heating bill, but they told me it wasn't an emergency.

Essential services failing. We're doomed.

 

[Stschil]

Got a text to my Obama Phone saying I was eligible for a free upgrade to an iPhone 5 and that my data/voice/text plan would be unlimited.
Funny thing though, the 'contract' I had to sign looked like a 2016 Hillary presidential ballot.