Some people are just A-HOLES!!!!

[Suprtek]

Tough spot. If you choose to continue this relationship, you must accept the father's legal right to be involved even if you don't agree with his influence.

There a many ways this could be turned to a positive situation, although it probably won't happen overnight. You don't have to necessarily agree with someone to show respect for their position. This in itself could be a valuable lesson for any young man. You can still set a proper example without crossing whatever lines that get drawn in the sand. Sharing your positive experiences will hopefully prove your position for you over time.

Again, as long as the father has a legal right to be involved, you must find ways to operate within those boundaries. If those boundaries are unacceptable, your only choice is to find a way to remove the boundaries from the situation or to remove yourself from the situation.

I'm not trying to make this sound simple because it certainly isn't. I'm also not trying to condone an anti 2A position. I will however condone a father's right to have whatever position he wishes when it comes to raising his son.

This situation could just as easily be about which church to attend, which "lifestyles" are acceptable, or at what age the young man should be allowed to date. It's very doubtful that this will be your last difference of opinion with the father. How you handle this one could eventually have consequences relating to many other things besides just firearms.

Good luck.

 

[Bunnykid68]

Pee on the dad and his bad attitude. Current boyfriend cleared everything with current girlfriend. Ex is obviously a douche and trying to malign said boyfriend to his son. kick the ex in the nuts and be patient with the ole ladies son, he will come around with mom's help sooner or later.

 

[E5RANGER375]

hmmmm, how to resolve this?


dad disappears and is never heard from again.......

yep, that would do it.

 

[hornadylnl]

Here's the best piece of advice yet. Don't mess with chicks who have baby daddies.

 

[CVMA544]

Not that this will help, but, I was a child in a broken marriage.

My step-father never said anything bad about my Mom's ex.

He lead by example.

Later on when I was about 13 Step-Dad gave this advice.

Never talk bad about your buddies woman. even to make him feel better during a bad time, because when the bad time is over the words you speak will be remembered and held against you.

The same applies here, be honest, open, and caring to the young man, don't talk bad about his Dad, answer any questions with YOUR opinion, ie; guns, etc.

And most importantly, lead by example, if you do all that, the young man will see the error in his fathers beliefs, or become a zombie like his dad.

I chose the man who lead by example in my life, and before I graduated high school and went into the world I asked my step-father to adopt me so I would have his name, because he was my DAD, the other guy was just a donor. I saw him for what he was a bum, a drunk, a cheat, and a woman abuser.

For what its worth

Oh and my DAD brought me my first BB gun at 9, shotgun at 12 and rifle at 14

 

[lane440]

Andre sorry to hear the father pulled the rug out from under your feet , did you one up him on christmass presents ? i agree with alot of the other members ( except the sarcastic one) on this . You are between a rock and a hard place and all fathers/ parents should have the first chance to teach thier children its thier duty. Just be patient, cool heads will usualy win . I hope the 4th of July doesnt present more problems with Dad ! start planning ahead, its not easy being the better Man.

 

[Andre46996]

Just need to clarify one thing....

His Father never said he couldn't shoot.... What he did was change the mind of his son.

When he was handing us all the different anti-propaganda he never once said that the kid could not shoot, What he was doing was trying to make it more difficult as in us having to travel over an hour to get to the range. That is why I made the offer to take her son to JP(The range).

What really burns me is what he did to that poor kids head... If you don't like me or my ideals that is fine but don't F up your own sons head just to try and hurt me or his mother.

And yes it did hurt me considerably. Don't tell her yet but I plan on keeping her and her 2 boys... So yeah this hurts. I have no kids of my own and never will. (Don't ask bad accident, crushed the twins)

 

[ThrottleJockey]

What really burns me is what he did to that poor kids head... If you don't like me or my ideals that is fine but don't F up your own sons head just to try and hurt me or his mother.

Agreed, but look at it from dads viewpoint. Don't like me or my ideals that is fine but don't F up MY sons head just.......It's really tough. I'm sorry you must endure this.

 

[slmlrd]

I think JDON is playing devil's advocate. I see his point that the father should have a final say, especially if he is involved in the kid's life. If I were the Dad I wouldn't want someone teaching my kid about some wierd religion or something else that they were passionate about and I didn't understand.

I think the kid will come around and if he decides he wants to shoot he will let you know. If he continues to spend time with you and sees you as a responsible, down to earth guy he will see you as a good example of gun owners and will make his own decisions regardless of his father's pressure.

 

[bwframe]

OP,

Think about this. Everything you are posting is in a public forum. It could be here forever. Some things said could well come back on you in the future, legally or socially.

You have received some very good advice.
Now for mine - respectfully, shut up.

 

[iamaclone45]

Here's the best piece of advice yet. Don't mess with chicks who have baby daddies.

Haha.. was thinking the exact same thing as I was reading through the replies.

 

[techres]

Some crosses we are born with.
Some crosses are forced on us.
Some crosses we choose.

This is the cross of your choosing. That does not not make it any less of a cross, but it is important to remember that you chose it.

The difference between you and this boy is his cross was forced on him: His parents divorced.

So keep in mind, his life fell apart and he is making the best of it. This fight is likely the last thing in the world that he needs. And while gun safety and skill are something every human should know, they should never come in the form of yet another cross to bear.

Be patient, give it all time, do not make it into a fight, a situation, or a mountain.

Because he will never like firearms at all if they are just another cross of tears. When the time comes, they will be a bright moment of laughter an fun.

Back off, be patient, help him make the best of a broken heart and hurt life.

That's your best move as a step-dad, a compassionate person, and as a gun owner.

 

[88GT]

I think JDON is playing devil's advocate. I see his point that the father should have a final say,

I'm not picking on you; you just happened to be the last person who made this comment or something similar.

Why is the mother's opinion disregarded in this discussion? And don't think this is a gender issue because it's not. But I'm trying to figure out why the father's opinion is the end-all, be-all. If the mother wants other wise, and our resident INGO member is her method of achieving that, what on earth justifies tossing that to the trash heap and letting the father have his way.

Does she not have just as much right to how her son is raised as the father does?

I'll concede OP's relationship with the mother complicates things, but not to the extent that the mother's wishes have no worth. I realize it's not the OP's place to decide what happens. But the mother can. And if OP is part of that decision-making process....

 

[Bounty Hunter]

Some crosses we are born with.
Some crosses are forced on us.
Some crosses we choose.

This is the cross of your choosing. That does not not make it any less of a cross, but it is important to remember that you chose it.

The difference between you and this boy is his cross was forced on him: His parents divorced.

So keep in mind, his life fell apart and he is making the best of it. This fight is likely the last thing in the world that he needs. And while gun safety and skill are something every human should know, they should never come in the form of yet another cross to bear.

Be patient, give it all time, do not make it into a fight, a situation, or a mountain.

Because he will never like firearms at all if they are just another cross of tears. When the time comes, they will be a bright moment of laughter an fun.

Back off, be patient, help him make the best of a broken heart and hurt life.

That's your best move as a step-dad, a compassionate person, and as a gun owner.

Repped-Very well put!!

 

[E5RANGER375]

OP,

Think about this. Everything you are posting is in a public forum. It could be here forever. Some things said could well come back on you in the future, legally or socially.

You have received some very good advice.
Now for mine - respectfully, shut up.

^^^ honestly all joking aside this is good advice.

one reason why I don't post personal instances here dealing with private life. a lot of .... ahem,,,, cowardly, unsavory people monitor these sites .

 

[patience0830]

TROLL ALERT

How dare that father share his beliefs about guns with his own son!! And how dare he not trust some other guy to shoot guns with his son! What an A-hole!

And whats even worse, his beliefs dont even match yours! What a terrible human being that man is.

And dont get me started on that kid - he doesnt trust a guy with a gun around his monther???? Someone needs to teach that little (you know what) a lesson.

Everywhere I find this guy he's makin a PITA of himself and I'm starting to really wonder. Just sayin

 

[patience0830]

weellll

Haha.. was thinking the exact same thing as I was reading through the replies.

It takes patience, love and understanding in untold quantities to help raise another man's child. As well as a thick skin. The boy is lucky to have someone else in his life who cares about him. Someday he might realize that and thank you.
Be careful and considered in your responses. Don't get your feelings hurt easily and you will at least appear to possess wisdom. The dad sounds like he cares about his kid but is a bit overprotective. I hope that you can all work together for the best interests of the young man. Thank you for trying.

 

[bw210]

It takes patience, love and understanding in untold quantities to help raise another man's child. As well as a thick skin. The boy is lucky to have someone else in his life who cares about him. Someday he might realize that and thank you.
Be careful and considered in your responses. Don't get your feelings hurt easily and you will at least appear to possess wisdom. The dad sounds like he cares about his kid but is a bit overprotective. I hope that you can all work together for the best interests of the young man. Thank you for trying.

^^^^ This and Repped.

I removed my post of why I agreed with some and disagreed with others and with say only this:

You may end up with your future Christmas looking like this. This is our fifth Christmas together since Jodi's divorce. I feel truly blessed to call these kids mine also.

 

[Lobo]

.

 

[Andre46996]

Thanks for all the replies guys and gals. I have gotten alot of replies reinforcing what was already in my head. I was telling the GF who was way more upset about this whole thing then me. We needed to pick our battles.

I want to just kick back and forget about it and figure eventually the boy will bring it back up. Warm weather is going to be my best friend!!! If it is over 70 his father doesn't leave his apartment. Or below 50 for that matter.

We have gone sledding, to the beach, to Indiana Beach, a couple county fairs, and other "normal" outside stuff.Their father takes them bowling or to the movies.

I am going to play this cool and let him come to the realization that his father is playing the ass. Right now I think he is hurting his son more then he is hurting his mother or me and that makes me feel bad for the kid but only so much I can do.

I owe you all rep but I am out....