Some people are just A-HOLES!!!!

[Andre46996]

OK INGO here is the story...

Couple weeks before Christmas my GF and I were out shopping and I told her I wanted to get he oldest son (10) into shooting. I have taken her shooting several times and she really enjoys it so she agreed.

Figured start him out with a BB gun so we could just shoot in the fenced in back yard. 6ft privacy fence.

Christmas day he opens a 4000 ct. pack of BBs and his eyes start to sparkle he is beyond excited. Then he gets the rest.

Daisy Red Ryder, Safety Glasses, BB Trap, pack of Shoot-n-see Targets, a Cleaning Kit, and a Cable Lock...

He wanted to go shooting right then but his Father was coming to pick him up so it had to wait.

Fast Forward to last night.


His Father drops him back off and has multiple Hammond Laws printed off all regarding Air Rifles. Tells us if we shoot that thing in the backyard he will call CPS and the Police. Hands us several stories of children getting hurt with BB guns and some other Gun Hater crap. I try to have a civil discussion with him about safety and so fourth explaining it would not be used without me being with him etc.... Tried to show him the lock to prevent it from being used. Even offered to take him shooting or let him shoot the BB gun with us.

He does NOT want to hear any of it.

The GF contacted CPS today and they said that while it is dangerous (Not my words or hers) if properly supervised they had no problem with it.

I researched the laws and found out that yes within City Limits it is illegal so I figured JP here we come.

He gets home from school an I tell him this weekend we can go to the Gun Range and he can shoot his BB gun and I might even let him shoot a .22 if he does well with his BB gun.

His response..........

"Thanks Mike but I don't want to shoot it, I was going to give it back to you but I didn't want you to be mad. Guns are dangerous and aren't good for anything but killing people, and I don't like them. It scares me when your here because I know you always carry a gun and I am afraid if you get mad at my mom, me or my brother you could use it."


WTF!!!!! HOLY CRAP!!!!

WOW!!!!

Thank God his mother was there and heard everything. Spent about 2 hours explaining away all the misconceptions his father filled his head with, and no luck.

Stopped by Cabela's and bought a pistol safe. I will be disarming in the garage for a while before coming in just because I want to, my GF told me NO and that I didn't have to.

From a kid who couldn't wait to this... I need help INGO!!!

 

[jsharmon7]

Sounds like Dad is a little insecure and doesn't want you bonding with his son. Always sad when the kid has to suffer because of a parent's insecurities and shortcomings. Not sure what to tell you though to fix it...

 

[redneckmedic]

Maybe you could try to get his dad to not vote for Obama next year too.

 

[longbow]

fear of guns=sexual problems?????

 

[ThrottleJockey]

Well, I'm not sure what the custody arrangements are but this is a battle you want to just not participate in. The fathers wishes MUST be honored or at least seriously considered. If not careful, your GF could just plain lose custody (not because of guns, shooting, or the bb gun, but the way it may be presented to a judge and the money involved in fighting it). I know personally, I will not allow my son (12) to participate in ANYTHING shooting related unless I am the one supervising/instructing. My ex is at least smart enough to understand this as well as the fact that shooting, hunting, guns and safety in general are things to be shared between a father and a son as is customary in my family. Her SO also understands this and we get along well enough for him to honor my wishes too. My boy has a marlin 60, a 10/22 and a single shot 410 all in my safe at my house along with the ability to use ANY of my guns when asked and I think they realize that I have forgotten more about guns and safety than they will ever even know. They know how serious I am about the issues of the 2A in general and understand that they could never begin to compete with me on the issue. In short, my advice is to just back off, the boy will grow and form his own opinion eventually and when that happens he will realize how selfish and ignorant his father is.

 

[littletommy]

Well, I'm not sure what the custody arrangements are but this is a battle you want to just not participate in. The fathers wishes MUST be honored or at least seriously considered. If not careful, your GF could just plain lose custody (not because of guns, shooting, or the bb gun, but the way it may be presented to a judge and the money involved in fighting it). I know personally, I will not allow my son (12) to participate in ANYTHING shooting related unless I am the one supervising/instructing. My ex is at least smart enough to understand this as well as the fact that shooting, hunting, guns and safety in general are things to be shared between a father and a son as is customary in my family. Her SO also understands this and we get along well enough for him to honor my wishes too. My boy has a marlin 60, a 10/22 and a single shot 410 all in my safe at my house along with the ability to use ANY of my guns when asked and I think they realize that I have forgotten more about guns and safety than they will ever even know. They know how serious I am about the issues of the 2A in general and understand that they could never begin to compete with me on the issue. In short, my advice is to just back off, the boy will grow and form his own opinion eventually and when that happens he will realize how selfish and ignorant his father is.

+1!!!! Great advice!

 

[theweakerbrother]

Little kids can be fickle and if his dad is an important figure to him, he's probably just mimicking what his dad is telling him.

Just give it time and if the kid really liked shooting, he'll come back and want to try it again. Just let him know that the opportunity is always open. He'll probably come around.

And he's right... firing guns can be dangerous, but it is always the person behind it that make it so.

techres made an excellent video of him showing his son how dangerous firearms can be. He bought some red misty watermelons and shot them. "Do you see what happened to that watermelon? That can happen to you or me if you're acting unsafe."

 

[JDonhardt]

How dare that father share his beliefs about guns with his own son!! And how dare he not trust some other guy to shoot guns with his son! What an A-hole!

And whats even worse, his beliefs dont even match yours! What a terrible human being that man is.

And dont get me started on that kid - he doesnt trust a guy with a gun around his monther???? Someone needs to teach that little (you know what) a lesson.

 

[Knife Lady]

I agree with ThrottleJockey. Hopefully the boy will grow up and learn that the 2nd ammendment is for his protection. I applaud you in your effort and maybe in the future you and him will go shooting together.

 

[Andre46996]

How dare that father share his beliefs about guns with his own son!! And how dare he not trust some other guy to shoot guns with his son! What an A-hole!

And whats even worse, his beliefs dont even match yours! What a terrible human being that man is.

And dont get me started on that kid - he doesnt trust a guy with a gun around his monther???? Someone needs to teach that little (you know what) a lesson.

I have to respond to this and not because it is not what I want to hear...


How dare that father share his beliefs about guns with his own son!! And how dare he not trust some other guy to shoot guns with his son! What an A-hole!Your absolutely correct.... How dare I try to share that Guns are not evil with someone... Do you work for the Brady Bunch??

And don't get me started on that kid - he does'nt trust a guy with a gun around his mother???? Someone needs to teach that little (you know what) a lesson.I don't even have a response for this one... I have been around for over a year and he has never had a problem or concern before. He had asked on several occasions if when he gets bigger if he could have a gun. Why don't you reread the OP and remove your anger over your exwife and kids liking some other guy better then you and try to make a constructive post. Or at least one that kinda shows you support gun ownership and the 2nd.

 

[jsharmon7]

How dare that father share his beliefs about guns with his own son!! And how dare he not trust some other guy to shoot guns with his son! What an A-hole!

And whats even worse, his beliefs dont even match yours! What a terrible human being that man is.

And dont get me started on that kid - he doesnt trust a guy with a gun around his monther???? Someone needs to teach that little (you know what) a lesson.

You're right, he should make all decisions regarding the boy in spite of what the mother may think. In fact he should fill the boy's head with misinformation and make him fear his mother's new boyfriend so that her opinions will never be considered and tension is created. Why exactly would he tell the boy how dangerous the OP is and make the boy fear him? I stand by my opinion, a "man" like that has some insecurities. To be fair I don't think it's the OP's decision regarding the guns but it appears the boy's mother is in support, and her opinion matters. If he legitimately feels that these are valid concerns then he should discuss it with the mother so that they can come to a joint decision regarding their son.

 

[Will0369]

We are steadily asked about the age at which to teach young people to shoot. The answer to this obviously depends upon the particular individual; not only his physical maturity but his desire. Apart from these considerations, however, I think it important to understand that it is the duty of the father to teach the son to shoot. Before the young man leaves home, there are certain things he should know and certain skills he should acquire, apart from any state-sponsored activity. Certainly the youngster should be taught to swim, strongly and safely, at distance. And young people of either sex should be taught to drive a motor vehicle, and if at all possible, how to fly a light airplane. I believe a youngster should be taught the rudiments of hand-to-hand combat, unarmed, together with basic survival skills. The list is long, but it is a parent's duty to make sure that the child does not go forth into the world helpless in the face of its perils. Shooting, of course, is our business, and shooting should not be left up to the state.-Lt.Col. Jeff Cooper

 

[Will0369]

Hoplophobia is a mental disturbance characterized by irrational aversion to weapons, as opposed to justified apprehension about those who may wield them. – To Ride, Shoot Straight, and Speak the Truth

 

[JDonhardt]

I have to respond to this and not because it is not what I want to hear...


How dare that father share his beliefs about guns with his own son!! And how dare he not trust some other guy to shoot guns with his son! What an A-hole!Your absolutely correct.... How dare I try to share that Guns are not evil with someone... Do you work for the Brady Bunch??

And don't get me started on that kid - he does'nt trust a guy with a gun around his mother???? Someone needs to teach that little (you know what) a lesson.I don't even have a response for this one... I have been around for over a year and he has never had a problem or concern before. He had asked on several occasions if when he gets bigger if he could have a gun. Why don't you reread the OP and remove your anger over your exwife and kids liking some other guy better then you and try to make a constructive post. Or at least one that kinda shows you support gun ownership and the 2nd.

I support the second. I also support people having their own beliefs. Just because some people are against guns - or more specifically, against other people messing with guns around their children - doesnt make them bad people or wrong or "A-holes".

I dont have an ex wife.

 

[Andre46996]

You're right, he should make all decisions regarding the boy in spite of what the mother may think. In fact he should fill the boy's head with misinformation and make him fear his mother's new boyfriend so that her opinions will never be considered and tension is created. Why exactly would he tell the boy how dangerous the OP is and make the boy fear him? I stand by my opinion, a "man" like that has some insecurities. To be fair I don't think it's the OP's decision regarding the guns but it appears the boy's mother is in support, and her opinion matters. If he legitimately feels that these are valid concerns then he should discuss it with the mother so that they can come to a joint decision regarding their son.

Somebody +1 him for me I ran out of rep...

He is extremely jealous. She threw him out 3 years ago when she caught him cheating. She has dated since then but never introduced her 2 boys to anyone. I was the first. I get along great with her kids. I treat them as I would my own. He has tried from day one of my meeting the boys to undermine not only my relationship with them but between my GF and myself.

He is a control freak and was abusive to her. He was is very abusive emotionally and mentally more so then physically. I bought the boys a Basketball hoop and put it up over the summer and he told them only (The N word) play basketball.

I don't want to take his place, he is their father, but would it hurt for me to have a great father son type relationship with the boys??

 

[jerp239]

Somebody +1 him for me I ran out of rep...

Done

 

[Andre46996]

Done

TY!!

 

[plowman766]

I agree with throttle jockey. I may not agree with the dads opinion but he is still the boys father and it would be best to steer clear of the issue sometimes you have to choose your battles and I think this is a good one to stay away from.

 

[JDonhardt]

You're right, he should make all decisions regarding the boy in spite of what the mother may think. In fact he should fill the boy's head with misinformation and make him fear his mother's new boyfriend so that her opinions will never be considered and tension is created. Why exactly would he tell the boy how dangerous the OP is and make the boy fear him? I stand by my opinion, a "man" like that has some insecurities. To be fair I don't think it's the OP's decision regarding the guns but it appears the boy's mother is in support, and her opinion matters. If he legitimately feels that these are valid concerns then he should discuss it with the mother so that they can come to a joint decision regarding their son.

I'd say you're mostly - if not wholly - right about the parents. I dont have kids, so I'm only guessing. But I dont see how the two of them talking things out together could be wrong. Surely an understanding can be reached.

 

[Will0369]

I agree with the dad having final say, but if you do end up spending more time with this kid than his actual "father", then you owe it to him to at least go over the basics.