Disposable Heart
Grandmaster
Our new kitten is freakishly sneaky. I'll be sitting on the couch when Poof the cat is sitting next to my head. I think that is its way of saying "if you give into my demands, I won't slit your throat while you sleep.
I'm getting kinda scared of her. Last night she "appeared" (mental note: she's using ninja magic) on the armrest of the couch, looked up at me and said "I can be anywhere at any time." Then she started to purr and walked away.
Must look away, the EYES! Looking into my soul! Destroying my inhibition! Whats that? You want me to take off my shirt? All hail kitten GOD!!
With this, Vernon becomes the single prophet to the kitty god. This starts the Kitten Reformation, broken into three parts:
The Kitty Revolution: Forming groups adherant to the kitten's teaching, they begin to rise against the other religions, gaining followers. From a loose knit group of kitty supporters, they become a major religious and later, political entity.
The Kitty War: After gaining their independance, the Kitty Nation rises against their neighbors in a losing war (final defeat leads to the last phase of the Reformation). The Kitty nation begins a campaign against what it calls "the DOG followers" (other non-aligned nations fall to the Kitty Group's will).
The Kitty Revelation: As the forces of DOG (Democratic Ordinated Group, a military alliance of non-kitty nations) begin to move into the Kitty Nation's capital of Feline, the Kitty God itself comes down from the heavens to take its followers with it to the Catbox in the Sky (mass suicides via gunshots and cyanide by the most devout of the followers). As mentioned in the earlier works of the Kitty Prophets, the followers then have vengeance upon the DOG, leading to a thousand year torture of unbelievers of a cat sleeping on their face while trying to get some rest.
I have too much time on my hands at work.