Just get giant buckets of boiling hot water and pour it on the ice-covered window tomorrow morning.
No more ice.
Bird poop is rough on paint. So is taking cold metal and heating it instantly. Don't want to warp anything.[/QUOTEGood thinking, I was gonna suggest building a fire underneath the car but that could be a problem with causing things to warp. I'm not a long range thinker though. You would think global warming would solved all of these problems by now.
No more window either.
Remove the windshield and take it inside the house.