There have been a lot of good opinions here...so why not one more.
Take her to a range where she can fire a few. Do your research on the five pistols most commonly fired by lady shooters (NOT a revolver) and rent those for starters. Lady shooters will likely have a "top three" list of some sort. Think of how many shoes or purses she has and that may be an indication of how her firearm purchasing will go. I have one I carry, one I wish I could carry, one that is too small to comfortably shoot and I only carry it in a pinch, one that I use for training, and then there's my wish list... Whatever you do, enjoy the journey.
Just curious as to why you recommend finding the five most common, but don't consider a revolver. Using your shoe analogy, that is like saying find the five most commonly worn shoes by ladies and try those on for size. But you can't try on anything with laces.
Revolvers aren't for everyone, but ruling them out from the get go limits possibly finding a new shooter's preferred platform. Why not try a revolver if the new shooter is interested?