H&K P2000sk. It's a darn good firearm in a sub-compact frame. Recoil is easily managed. My daughter shot mine and absolutely loved it.
glock 23 is a good choice. or glock 27 if you want smaller.
'spensive
That's how we roll, do you go in soft?
looking for a small carry .40. not looking to spend a bunch. any suggestions?
Conform to what? An inexpensive firearm that works?
My point is there are others, in the same price range that are just as good!