Getting Tested

[Indy_Guy_77]

Don't know about OP's situation...

But some good friends of mine have become embryo recipients. Some other friends of theirs were having their own troubles, and so had some "test tube babies" conceived and stored. That couple is now at a point in their lives where they don't need/want any more children. Only there are/were embryos left...

So they donated them to my friends who have all but zero chance of conceiving naturally.

My friends are going to have a baby later this summer (August, I think)!

Ain't technology grand?

 

[Cru]

Ain't technology grand?

Sort of. Not to get too religiousy, but I think there's a reason people can't have children sometimes.

 

[IncendiaryGunner]

As unpleasant as it is, after the test it will be one of those "that wasn't that bad" moments.

Your psychological fears will be greater than your physical pain.

 

[snowman46919]

AI, I have already come to terms with most peoples normal concerns with a lot of what you guys asked. I am just asking about the tests, we already talked about it but the husband feels like it makes him less of a man. Long story short I could quite possibly be raising a child that isn't biologically mine but that doesn't mean I am not his father. Anyone can give sperm it takes a real man to be a father. At the end of the day I can live with it if I am never acknowledged but I would hate for the kid to find out and NOT be able to find out who their biological parent is and why they made the sacrifice.

 

[VaGriller]

AI, I have already come to terms with most peoples normal concerns with a lot of what you guys asked. I am just asking about the tests, we already talked about it but the husband feels like it makes him less of a man. Long story short I could quite possibly be raising a child that isn't biologically mine but that doesn't mean I am not his father. Anyone can give sperm it takes a real man to be a father. At the end of the day I can live with it if I am never acknowledged but I would hate for the kid to find out and NOT be able to find out who their biological parent is and why they made the sacrifice.

Its time to eject if you don't know if the kid your raising is yours or not.

 

[VaGriller]

And if I couldn't have kids,(I have3) I would pick a sperm donor out of a book with movie star looks and an Einstien IQ. Not anybody I knew, that situation would be uhhh strange to say the least.

 

[snowman46919]

Its time to eject if you don't know if the kid your raising is yours or not.

And its time for you to go get ****ed and stop trolling my threads you waste of space piece of ****.

 

[Scutter01]

And here we are. Next person who can't behave is out of here.

 

[VaGriller]

And its time for you to go get ****ed and stop trolling my threads you waste of space piece of ****.

Don't get mad at me, Im not the one she cheated on ya with.

 

[ljadayton]

AI, I have already come to terms with most peoples normal concerns with a lot of what you guys asked. I am just asking about the tests, we already talked about it but the husband feels like it makes him less of a man. Long story short I could quite possibly be raising a child that isn't biologically mine but that doesn't mean I am not his father. Anyone can give sperm it takes a real man to be a father. At the end of the day I can live with it if I am never acknowledged but I would hate for the kid to find out and NOT be able to find out who their biological parent is and why they made the sacrifice.

AND that is what's really important. You're offering this couple the gift of a child. If you're ok with it and they're on board, I say go for it! As far as the husband not feeling like a man, there are too many men who can make a baby but can't raise one. The one's who RAISE the children are the REAL men!

 

[Scutter01]

Don't get mad at me, Im not the one she cheated on ya with.

Oh, I'm sorry. You chose poorly. Bye.

 

[snowman46919]

Don't get mad at me, Im not the one she cheated on ya with.

Ever stop to think she could have been raped?

 

[Scutter01]

Snowman, it's been dealt with. Don't be number 2.

 

[ljadayton]

Ever stop to think she could have been raped?

Snowman, no need to go there here. You made the decision, you're sticking by it, you're being a real dad. Be proud of yourself for that. I wish there were more men like you around.

 

[Cru]

Yep. If you're comfortable with our decisions, and you've put thought into it, then to you.

 

[AuntieBellum]

Don't be too hard on the guy who thinks he might feel like less of a man. There are so many emotions tied up with a couple trying have a child. I'm assuming the husband and wife have both been tested (especially since typically the wife gets tested out to wazoo before they even consider the husband). It's a very generous gesture to offer, but I'll admit it's a little awkward when approached with such offers. That would be weird for me, but it may not be for you and your friends. AI also doesn't often work, and couples typically have to turn to IUI, a much more involved, tedious, and expensive process. Have they considered adoption? Just curious. Not any less expensive or tedious, but it does provide a home for a child who needs it. Although babies are hard to get if that's their goal.

At any rate, just be a good friend with a shoulder and an ear, and you'll make all the difference. Thanks for being a good guy.

 

[Benny]

So guys I have made the leap and was talking to a married couple I am friends with that are having trouble conceiving. They are great people and are awesome god parents so when I found out they were having troubles I took a long hard look at life, myself, and their situation. This weekend I offered to help them out the only way I could, giving them the gift of a child. So before anything ever comes to fruition to help save on money I figured I would get as much leg work out of the way as possible. So who has gotten tested before?

Tested for?

Blood born diseases, the kinds of nasty things the head cheerleader can give you, those types of things.

Hey Snowman i've got a couple of questions about situations like these:

How did the conversation come about?
How will you feel if they say, "Uh... No thanks snowman."?
And how will you feel if they accept your offer but never let you see the child?
What if they do let you see the child and you become more attached than just a sperm doaner?
What about your friendship to the couple after you sleep with his wife?

So you offered to bang your friends wife?

AI, I have already come to terms with most peoples normal concerns with a lot of what you guys asked. I am just asking about the tests, we already talked about it but the husband feels like it makes him less of a man. Long story short I could quite possibly be raising a child that isn't biologically mine but that doesn't mean I am not his father. Anyone can give sperm it takes a real man to be a father. At the end of the day I can live with it if I am never acknowledged but I would hate for the kid to find out and NOT be able to find out who their biological parent is and why they made the sacrifice.

I'm not the sharpest crayon in the box(no big surprise there), but it's been awhile since I've been this confused...

I thought you were first offering to donate some sperm to your friends, then vagriller made some not-so-nice remarks and now you are talking about raising a child that isn't yours.

Can you walk me through this one(specifically the bolded part)...

 

[D-Bo]

Its not as bad as you may be thinking and will be over in no time. Good luck.

 

[snowman46919]

I'm not the sharpest crayon in the box(no big surprise there), but it's been awhile since I've been this confused...

I thought you were first offering to donate some sperm to your friends, then vagriller made some not-so-nice remarks and now you are talking about raising a child that isn't yours.

Can you walk me through this one(specifically the bolded part)...

Basically breaking it down like this benny... guy cant have kids, feels he is being unsuccessful in husband roles because he can't be a father, me explaining that I understand how he may feel about raising a child that is not his, and expressing that a father is not a biological act so much as it standing up and taking responsibility of an adorable child that calls you daddy. Then VaGriller trolled a bit, i blew my top that was already boiling, sent a pm to scutter, feel a little better for some of the comments made, feeling worse because I misdirected my anger so poorly, and now trying to explain the ramblings of I.

 

[PatriotPride]

I'm not the sharpest crayon in the box(no big surprise there), but it's been awhile since I've been this confused...

I thought you were first offering to donate some sperm to your friends, then vagriller made some not-so-nice remarks and now you are talking about raising a child that isn't yours.

Can you walk me through this one(specifically the bolded part)...

This. I'm scratching my head, and the hostility seems unwarranted to say the least. I guess I'm not the only one confused.

IDK, I think it's great that Snowman is so willing to help his friends but the answer to this question makes a HUGE difference

Agreed. Still waiting on an answer.