I have the older 115 gr Federal Hydra-Shoks in my Taurus 809 and the back up mag is +P CorBon's 115gr JHP's. I figure if I have to reload might as well have a little more power.
I second the Federal 115gr Hydra Shoks. I've also used the 115gr Winchester SXZ's (got them from Bass Pro and they appear to be the only place that carries that variant).
There are three things I particularly like about Rem. Golden Sabers in 9mm. First of all, they have a more rounded leading edge than all of the other defense bullets I've used, so they are very likely to feed well in anybody's gun. Secondly, you can buy the bullets in bulk, and reload your own for practice (or whatever). Thirdly, I've noticed that the Golden Saber gives me more velocity per grain of powder than any other jacketed bullet I've reloaded, which gives a FEELING of less recoil as compared to other rounds of the same velocity and weight. I also find that the factory loaded Golden Sabers seem to feel softer than several other 9mm defense rounds.
I also like Gold Dots, Federals, Magtecs, and Hornady XTPs.