Lots of variables here.
One is technique as people have mentioned. Many people have difficulty working slides because of poor technique. Here's an article that might help - https://www.corneredcat.com/article/running-the-gun/rack-the-slide/
With respect to racking the slide on 380 handguns, there's a world of difference between the tiny models, like the Kel-Tec P3AT and larger 380s (Beretta, CZ, SIG, etc). In general, there's an inverse relationship between the weight of the slide and the strength of the recoil spring. So, tiny 380 pistols are harder to rack. Add to this that the tiny slides are harder to grasp, and it can cause issues for some folks.
OP, why a 380? Is it because she wants a tiny gun or is she concerned about recoil, or both?
One is technique as people have mentioned. Many people have difficulty working slides because of poor technique. Here's an article that might help - https://www.corneredcat.com/article/running-the-gun/rack-the-slide/
With respect to racking the slide on 380 handguns, there's a world of difference between the tiny models, like the Kel-Tec P3AT and larger 380s (Beretta, CZ, SIG, etc). In general, there's an inverse relationship between the weight of the slide and the strength of the recoil spring. So, tiny 380 pistols are harder to rack. Add to this that the tiny slides are harder to grasp, and it can cause issues for some folks.
OP, why a 380? Is it because she wants a tiny gun or is she concerned about recoil, or both?